Experience

2011-04-12T19:12:00.000-07:00

2011-04-12T19:09:00.001-07:00

2011-04-12T18:39:00.000-07:00

2011-04-11T19:54:00.000-07:00

AT THE ZOO.

I took my sons and daughter to the zoo, when they were small between 2 – 12 years old.

They ran here and there.

Screaming, pushing and running.
AT THE ZOO.
I was belated seeing them happy.

“Look , mama , bird”

“Look , mama, elephant”

“Look , mama, talking bird (parrot)”

“ Look mama, oistrich”

“Look, mama , crocodile”

“Look ,mama, giraffe. “

“Look, mama, snake”

“Look, mama, swine”

“Look mama , Hippo”

Look here , look there.

Suddenly my third child (son) said this,

“Mama, mama, our cousins are here” excitedly.

I looked around searching for my brother and his 5 kids. I didn’t know that he was at the zoo.

“Where? Where?” I asked my son.

“There”

He pointed at the monkeys swinging in the cage.

Cikgutanya: Out of my 4 kids , the 3rd child the jovial one. He brought sunshine to our life. By just listening to his laughter is enough to make you feel happy.

NAÏVE AND WEAK 2

2011-01-11T06:26:00.000-08:00

Every school holiday , we met. I study smart and hard . He worked hard too.”

“After SPM examination , during the school holiday , we met.”

“I know that I will get good SPM result and will further my study either oversea or locally . We talk about it.”

“He was worried that I might leave him when I got my SPM result.”

“He told me that, I have to show my love to him, convince him that I won’t leave him and we spent a week together in one of the resort in one island.”

“I told my parent I need to go to my residential school for a gathering. He paid for the trip.”

“I didn’t think I might get pregnant at all. Warden sir, please help me.”

The warden told her that she can’t continue to be at the camp . She got to be sent home.

Her auntie came and fetched her.

Her auntie told the warden that ,” I will be in charged of the girl until she gives birth. I will adopt the baby.”

“ After the girl’s confinement is over , I will sent her back to her parent.”

“If the villagers ask about her explanation given will be that she is at the camp for 4 month and then taking up a short course in the capital city”

After 5 month, her auntie call the warden and told the warden that her niece had given birth to a baby girl.
She was sent back to her village to be with her mother and father.

She is now in a college doing a twinning program to go to Australia.

She broke with the boy and the existence of their baby girl was not told to the boy .

Cikgutanya : How to prove your love. Careful girls.

NAÏVE AND WEAK.

2011-01-09T17:20:00.000-08:00

When I was in the summer camp in the north as a guest speaker, I talked to the warden at the camp about the girls and boys who attended the camp.

“Well,” he told me ,”there was one case of a 17 year old girl. She just sat for her SPM examination and was pregnant”

“How did your find out?”

“When the girls registered here , they were asked to write down their last period date, and this particular girl wrote the date of her last period was 4 month ago. “

“The doctor confirmed it. She was pregnant.”

“I told the girl that I got to informed her mother or father regarding her pregnancy.”

“Please don’t call my mother or father, warden sir, please call my auntie instead.”

“I call her auntie, and her auntie was shocked but she insisted that I call her mother.”

The warden called her mother.

Her mother was shocked to hear about her pregnancy but she asked the warden to call her sister (the girl’s auntie) and handle it with her.

“I did some investigation” explained the warden

“The girl explained to me what had happened.”

The explanation:

“Warden, sir, I knew this boy when I was in form 3. He is the mechanic at the car workshop in my village. He earn RM 1000/= a month.”

” He is 21 years old. I was fifteen then. We were so in love.”

“After PMR examination , I got a place in one of the residential school since my PMR result is good – 8A’s .”

Cikgutanya: Girl with brain but instead listen to her heart.

THE MAID 5 .

2011-01-07T23:09:00.000-08:00

Knowing that her only son wanted to get married, she received a lot of help. A rich neighbor in the 1st street donated 20 packet of rice (10 kilos each). It was enough to cater for at least 400 guests.

My son was married four months earlier, so she borrowed the items for the dias from me. The door gift was donated by the four mothers that send their babies for her to take care every morning.

Her sisters and brothers from the village, volunteered to cook for the wedding.

An elderly neighbor whom she always help give her RM 1000/= (her husband is very rich). The Community Club gave her free usage of 2 tents (40’ x 40’) for the wedding.

Her husband ?
Call the karaoke company and ask her to pay RM 350/= for it. (He monopolizes the karaoke session on the wedding day – he keep on singing and singing all the 1960’s song to his hearts content.)

The wedding went on smoothly – people come and go – some bearing gift , some gave token in term of cash.

She told me , “Thank God. Everybody help me and the wedding was successful.”

“I am so happy. I didn’t spent much since a lot of people help me. I still have some extra money, but I have to work hard again for my old age ”

Her husband ?

At 4.30 pm, after the wedding, her husband left her and their son and go back to his lovely 1st wife. If you can’t be fair then why marry two wives?

Cikgutanya: She told me , “After the wedding I am going to do something about my marriage.”

THE MAID 4

2011-01-06T02:01:00.000-08:00

You might wonder why a lot of people wanted to help her?

Reasons :

-She stayed in that area for about 35 years . She knows almost everybody in that area.

-Almost everybody know about her and her plight of having a very irresponsible man for a husband.

-Her son is a very nice boy. Though he sees his father for about an hour a day or sometimes his father didn’t turn up but still he has becomes a good and well mannered man.

-Though , suffering inside , she is a very jovial and helpful person.

What happened to her life recently?

Her son wanted to get married. His girlfriend is from a village, 240 kilometers from the capital city. On her son engagement day, her husband went with her but he ask her to fill the tank of his car and pay for the toll.

Her son fiancée dowry is RM 5,000/=. Her son had been working for the past five years. He managed to save between RM 200 – RM 300 a month. So the RM 5,000 is settled.

“I have to foot the bill of everything else,” she told me.

“How?”

“I have managed to keep some money for the wedding because I know that one day my son will want to get married.”
“It will be such a simple wedding. I will prepare salted fish curry with pineapple, fried chicken, ulam with sambal belacan (salad with the dip) and sambal tumis ikan bilis (anchovies in chilly sauce).”

Cikgutanya: She got to think of everything. May God bless her.

THE MAID 3

2011-01-05T07:06:00.000-08:00

Reason be / the owner of the house knows her because he and his family stayed there for 40 years. Their children know her well.

Sometimes when they have guest or kenduri (gathering of peoples ) she will be asked to cook. Extra money for her then.

The head of the family is rich. He bought his children a big house each. When he and his wife died the children didn’t want to stay in the house even though it is a bungalow but it was an old bungalow and the interior is not up to their liking.

It was and old style of a bungalow.

Since they know that the maid is looking fo a place to stay. They offered and asked her to stay in the old bungalow and take care of it. She agreed. It was free and they paid her RM 300/= a month as an allowance for her to take care of the house.

What else for her to survive.-

Her son is working with a salary of RM 1300. He goes to work on a second hand motor bike. He pays for the phone bill, the electricity and water bill and Astro which amount to about RM 300/= a month.
She takes care of four babies, sent by working mother to her for RM 250 each child. She got RM 1000 a month. Tax free.

RM 300 from the house owner’s children. . It is enough for both of them to survive in the capital city.

From her husband ?

Still nothing.

He came to the house once a week. At about 5.00 pm. Eat whatever she cooked and left.

Cikgutanya : Why there is not a shred of anger in her?

THE MAID 2

2011-01-04T05:43:00.000-08:00

Pathetic man. Not even a single cent given to the wife and son. It seems that his first wife is a very domineering woman. She controlled his money and his movement. How he can marry his 2nd wife is beyond my comprehension.

For the past 28 years he never gave any money. I asked the maid how she can stand that kind of life.

“Teacher, he is my husband. He is my son’s father. Like it or not and for the sake of my son I have to endure it. I’ve made the choice – so I got to live with it.”

Only about 5 years ago she stopped working as maid.
Her son ?

Her son was sent to KEMAS tadika (a government aid kindergarten for the poor) and to the primary and secondary school nearby. He just need to walk to the school. She stayed in her employer house for about 35 years. She stopped working as their maid when her son was 23 years old.

After SPM, he further his study – Diploma course in IT with a private college. Cost of his study was paid by his mother, using her hard earned money.

The father?

Not a single cent from him toward his son education.

After finishing his study he got a job with a local university as an IT technician. That’s the time he and his mother moved out .

Where?

They moved to the house next to the former employer’s house.

Cikgutanya : Pity the son , Pity her but spiteful of the husband.

THE MAID 1

2011-01-03T07:19:00.000-08:00

She was working as a maid. Lucky for her that her employer was very good and very understanding. She’s married to a man as his 2nd wife.

They have a boy and gave him a nickname “Boy”. She and her son was given a room at the back of the house by the employer. They had been married for 28 years.

“Boy” is now 27 years old.

For 28 years the first wife didn’t know about her husband 2nd marriage. The question that lingers was, how did they keep it a secret for 28 years and still keep the secret until today?

They never spent a night together even though her employer allowed her to see her husband any time. He usually comes after office from 5 pm – 7 pm. On Saturday or Sunday – never.

How does/did she managed their son on her own.

Lucky for her again, her employer understand her predicament. When they found out that she was pregnant, they took care of her.

She had been living with them since she was 17. Got married at 22. Gave birth at 23. She is now 51 years old. Working with her employer for more than 20 years. She received her monthly salary. To make extra money for the bringing up of her son, she makes nasi lemak (coconut milk rice) and kuih-kuih (traditional cakes ) every day and consigned it to the restaurants or stalls around the area.

She bought a cooker and bought all the things needed for preparing the food she sells using her own money. She woke up early at 4.30 am to do everyting. She never neglected her duty as the maid to her employer. Tough life.

Cikgutanya: What about her husband?

KEEP ON RUNNING

2011-01-01T03:05:00.000-08:00

In the 60’s there was a lot of stage show. The stage show will be organized at the school fields ,local council field etc.

The singers will be called to perform : J Sham, Jefridin – just to name a few singers of the 60’s and early 70’s .

Before the professional singer was call to perform , a few amateur singer will be performing.

This particular singer was handsome. Better than the professional singer themselves (dressing)

He wanted to sing the song titled “Running to my heart”

“Presenting , Mr OK to perform , his song is “Running to my Heart,” was announced by the emcee.

Mr OK ran to the centre of the stage. He wore a cap, red in color, his pants black- his shirt purple. He dance and dance vigorously, jumped up here and there . The spectators clapped including me.

Then, he opened his mouth and

“Keep on NANNING , NANNING to my heart.”

Instead of “Keep on RUNNING , RUNNING to my heart”

Cikgutanya: I admire his courage.To learn language you have to practice.

TRY YOUR LUCK 3

2011-01-01T02:56:00.000-08:00

Smoke was everywhere.

BUM………. The door of the cubicle was opened – kicked by our male discipline teacher.

He looked at us very sternly.

I thought I will die that day.

“Girls! Why did all of you smoked. This is very bad , very bad!”

We started crying.

He continued , “ Do you know that only prostitutes smoke”

What? Prostitute? What is that? (Please , remember this is in the 1960’s , we were very naïve and the society was very closed when it’s comes to sex related things/people).

He asked us to follow him to the Principal office. We were so scared. Cannot run, cannot do anything! We just leave it to God.

We were then reprimanded by the Principal after a long lecture.

We were very lucky because the Principal did not call our parent but instead he gave us three strokes of the cane on the palm.

The next day, we didn’t see the ice-cream seller at the gate. He never sold his ice-cream in front our school again.

CIKGUTANYA: That was the first and the last time that I smoked. Never again. It was really bad!

TRY YOUR LUCK 2

2010-11-05T06:13:00.000-07:00

Clinking …. Clinking ……clinking …. my friends and I waited anxiously .
I won … I won …. I won . We jumped up and down without looking at what we are winning. The ice-cream seller gave us the thing that we won . We were shocked .
It was a packet of cigarettes … “Rough Rider” …. 10 sticks inside.

“My friends , what are we supposed to do with this cigarettes. There’s a lot in it”

We looked at each other.

“I can’t take it home , my father will kill me “ says friend no 1

“OK let’s think about it.” says friend no 2

“ Why don’t we smoke it” says friend no 3

Everybody agreed. But where?

“Why not in the toilet” says friend no 1

Hmm …. again everybody agreed.

We borrowed a box of matches form the canteen operator . We went to the toilet. We smoked. There was four of us in one cubicle of the toilet.
Puff … puff …. puff ….. cough … cough ………..cough

CIKGUTANYA: What was I thinking then?

TRY YOUR LUCK 1

2010-11-04T06:58:00.000-07:00

There was this ice-cream seller. He sells ice-cream just outside the school compound, very near the main entrance of the school .

I was in Form One.

The modus-operandi was, if you buy the ice-cream from him, you get the chance to try you luck by putting a marble in a special case/box, specially made, for that purpose.
It was made of wood. Nails is nailed on the board of the case – ½ inches apart. About 200 nails was used.

Your have to put the marble in the hole at the top of the box. It will go down toward the bottom of the box where the photo of the thing that you might win. It will zig-zag down . I bought a 5 cents worth of ice-cream and was given a marble to try my luck. Chuckling,. Chuckling, Chuckling it went down

Cikgutanya: I will continue tomorrow. Oh , what a thrill.

singer 2

2010-10-23T17:19:00.000-07:00

Why did we changed our mind?

“Because she was there!” Our serious, strict and stern Geography teacher. She sat beside J. Sham. The organizer told us that the lady was J. Sham’s girlfriend.

Buzz …buzz .. lots of comments can be heard.

“She’s J Sham’s girlfriend?” my friend, Saemah asked.

“She’s our teacher and a very serious one, how can a singer fall for her?” Jamaliah asked.

“J Sham should be my boyfriend.” Nor, my flamboyant friend commented.

“I want to tackle him, but our teacher got to him first.” Ton, my other friend commented.

Me, I am the good one. I just like him as a singer and nothing more.

We went back frustrated because we can’t get his autograph.

The next day, during geography lesson in class, we noticed that our teacher’s face light up and she will be smiling alone and look happy. My friend and I think, it must be love.

J Sham and our teacher got married six months later. It seems that they were together at the teacher’s training college before and now they meet again.

They are still together.

Cikgutanya: Yes , we were teenagers and enjoying our teenage life.

Singer 1

2010-10-21T18:33:00.000-07:00

My geography teacher was a lady teacher. Beautiful and fair. She was a very good teacher.

With her tutelage I still can draw a map of Malaysia, off hand , 35 years after leaving school. I still can draw a map of Perak and sketch the area of tin mines in Perak. I can draw a world map without looking at the original map.

She was not fierce but very stern and strict.

One day there was a stage show at the school field in my kampong. My friends and I decided to go. There were five of us.

We were very thrilled because one of our favorite singer will be performing. He was popular those dayas with the name J. Sham.

After a few performances by other singers, J. Sham was called on satge to perform by the emcee.

He started to sing. My friends and I screamed, jumped and danced when he was performing.

At 11.30 pm the stage show ended.

As fans we wanted to get his autograph. So we went backstage. But we changed our mind suddenly. Why?

Continue tomorrow

Cikgutanya: Heartache!

Conversation 2

2010-08-29T07:41:00.000-07:00

Son number One :

“Oh , yours is nothing.”

“When I was in this boarding school, one night we wanted to celebrate the birthday of five of our friends.”

“We brought along two packets of flour and twenty eggs. We will celebrate the birthday boys and girls by throwing the eggs and then throw the flour at them, what a sight it would be.”

“But someone told the warden. He came into the hostel and ransacked our bags and also our bags in the classroom. I got slapped because in my bag there was a whole packet of flour.”

Son number three:

“I also got scolded by my teacher.”

“The rules of my boarding school was nobody should bring MP 3 to the hostel. But I did , without mum’s knowledge.”

“ The teacher found my MP3. He threw down my MP 3 from the fourth floor of the hostel. It can’t be safe anymore.”

Cikgutanya: Why now (when they are all out of school ) and there is nothing I can do.

Conversation

2010-08-22T09:29:00.000-07:00

While driving to my village (kampong) 240 km away form the capital city, I heard my three sons talking. They were all on their semester break of their respective universities.

All out of schools.

Their conversation goes like this:

Son number 2 :

“Brother, when I was in the boarding school, one night after the night preparation class , we went back to our dorm.”

“We talked about music and song and singers.”

“In the hostel at our dorm my friend knocked two spoons together , klik, klik , klik.”

“The other friend of mine knocked on the bed ..klang …klang ….klang.”

“Two other boys knocked on the window pane ….. kling … kling …. Kling.”

”Three other boys clapped their hands and a beautiful rhythm was created.”

”I danced to the tune. I break dance.”

“Suddenly! The hostel warden barged in. He scolded us and punished us by asking us to sleep on the corridor of the hostel.”

“We abide, but sleeping outside is better, it is colder.”

Cikgutanya: I just keep my mouth shut , but my heart says WHAT?

Lazy Daughter 2

2010-08-19T08:58:00.000-07:00

I received a phone call form the mother telling me that her daughter was in a coma at the hospital for the past two weeks.

Her class teachers and I went to the hospital immediately.

The mother explained, “She passed out at home. We brought her to the hospital. The doctor give her a thorough check-up, CAT scan, and blood test.”

Sob.sob.sob.

“The diagnosis and the finding was that, she had brain tumor which is as big as a ping pong ball.”

“That was the reason why she was sleepy all the time. The tumor keeps on pressing on her brain. She will always be sleepy though not in pain.”

The doctor came out from the ICU room with a gloomy face.

“I think, it’s better for you and your husband to be with your daughter now”

Then she and her husband went in.

Half an hour later, she came out of the ICU room crying.

“Teacher, she’s gone. I regretted the way I treated her. If only I knew it, I’ll take her to the hospital earlier."

CIKGUTANYA: Is she right or wrong? May God bless her soul.

Lazy Daughter

2010-08-14T21:32:00.000-07:00

“My daughter is very lazy. Sometimes I just wish that she wasn’t born.

“She does nothing. She wakes up late, sometimes at 9.00 or 10.00 in the morning and she will go back to sleep again. She eats and eats and eats.”

“ She won’t help me. Sometimes because she wakes up so late, she won’t be able to go to school. So I ask her to do a little house work like hanging out the cloth.”

“I came back form work at four in the afternoon, the cloth will still be in the washing machine and she will, again, sleep!”

“Teacher, what about her schooling? She just refuse to wake up in the morning. I am truly worried about her studies.”

I explained to her, “What you need to do is just write a letter explaining why she’s not in school. The letter must be written to us or if she keep on doing this she will be expelled from school. Please write the letter.”

“What about her lessons? She must be far back on her learning.”

“Yes, she can study at home under your guidance. We, teacher s can’t do anything if she won’t come to school. That’s your responsibility. Please, try to make her come to school. I will ask the counselor to advise her.”

The next morning, the student did come to school. But , in class she will be sleeping.

She come to school about one week then she was absent again. No news, nothing. We (the teachers) were wondering. What happened to her?

CIKGUTANYA: I need my afternoon nap. Continue tomorrow.

Blue Film for Minor 2

2010-08-10T14:37:00.001-07:00

I wanted to send him home.

But he told me, “My mom told me not to follow strangers. So I am walking home.”

At least, I know that his parents taught him the right thing.

I went to his mother’s office, introduced myself and told her what happened.

She was shocked!

“No wonder, I always see that my CD was not in order. It changed places all the time. I thought my husband did it.”

“Sorry that I asked. Where did you put all those CD’s?”

“In my bedroom, on the top self of my cabinet. There is no way that he could know about the existance of the CD’s”

“You must have underestimated your son’s intelligence.”

“What have I done? He’s only 11 years old.”

“Only you know the answer.” I told her.

“What do you think is the best I could do?”

I advised her, “Throw away all the CD’s. What happened had happened.”

“Send your son to see the school counselor and next time please be very careful with adult materials. Children of this era have a very high sense of curiosity.”

After the meeting, I bought my son a cartoon movie. He watched it. He never asked me about blue film any more.

He is now 22 years old. Blue film. A very big question mark on my mind.

CIKGUTANYA: Parents, be careful.

Blue Film For Minor

2010-08-08T07:29:00.000-07:00

My son was in Standard Five at that time.

I am very protective over him since he is the youngest in the family. My maid will sent him to school and fetched him from school everyday without fail.

One night, he asked me, “Mama, tomorrow can I go to my friend’s house?”

“Why?”

“He asked me to go to his house to watch ‘filem biru’ (blue film).”

“Dear, what is blue film?”

“I don’t know, but my friend told me that he always watch it when his mother and father is not around.”

I was speechless for a moment.

“OK dear, you go to school tomorrow and kak MI will fetch you from school. What I want is for you to introduce me to this boy after school. Can you do that for me dear?”

“Yes, mama sure can!”

The next morning he went to school and at 12.30 pm when the school session was over, I was outside the school waiting for him to introduce me to the boy.

“Mama this is my friend.”

I shook the boy’s hand and told my son to follow my maid home.

“Sayang (dear), I would like to know your father’s and your mother’s name and phone number”

He gave it to me.

“What about their office”

He also gave me the name and the addresses of his parents’ office.

He got the card of both offices.

CIKGUTANYA: Children are very trusting especially to teachers.

Minor 2

2010-08-07T16:10:00.000-07:00

“What is you father’s opinion?”

“He just don’t care about me. He’s always drunk, always beat up my mother, my sister and I for no apparent reason.”

“So with the money that I earned, I can help my mother and also enjoy myself.”

“How do you enjoy yourself?”

“Watching movies, eating out and go camping.”

Since, he never break any school rules, never played truant, did all his homework on time, there is nothing the school could do.

We just advised him to think about his future.

He was caught three times in his two years tenure as an illegal CD seller.

He passed his SPM examination and got a place in Form Sixth.

I asked him about his illegal activities.

“I stopped selling it once I turned 18”

“Why?”

“If caught, I am not a minor anymore. I can be send to jail.”

“With the money that I have saved, my mother and my 25 year old unmarried sister opened a small stall in front of our house selling food.”

“My house is located near a factory. Every day the workers of this factory will buy the food my mother and sister sells. From rice to noodles, kuih (cakes) to drinks. My mother and sister can make between RM50 – RM 100 a day.”

“My father passed away last year due to yellow fever. The doctor told us it is due to his drinking habits. My family is happier now.”

“From now on, I will study and be a good citizen.”

CIKGUTANYA: To err is human. Give them the chance to grow and mature.

Minor

2010-08-06T09:20:00.000-07:00

This boy brought a lot of money to school. He usually spent it on his friends in school. Buying t-shirts, food in the canteen, and many more.

I asked my discipline teacher to investigate how he came to have so much money.

Three days later he came back to me with the report:

“Principal, he sells illegal CD in the famous night market in the capital city. He also delivers the CD to homes whose owner ordered the CD over the phone.”

“He is being paid RM 50/= a day. Earning between RM1,500 - RM2000 including commission he can sometimes earn RM3,000 a month!”

As the Principal, I called the boy. He is 16 yrs old.

“Boy, You’re underage. How could you work at the night market selling illegal CD.”

“Teacher, it is easier for underage boys or girls to sell illegal CD.”

“Who told you that?”

“My boss.”

“An underage boy or girl who sells illegal CD, if caught by the police, can’t be send to jail because we are a minor.”

“We’ll be back in the street the very next day.”

CIKGUTANYA: Do you know this? Hmmm... the law?

Loyalty 5

2010-08-05T08:42:00.000-07:00

No 8 : An Indonesian man.

“I am so scared. I watched the news on television about Malaysian getting married to Indonesians.”

I also told my friend that I have advised my maid to get married. But she just refused.

My maid told me she doesn’t want to get married just because the society wants her to get married.

My maid said to me, “We must also think of our future. I have been here working with you for the past twenty years.”

“I know there’ll be a point of time for me to leave you.”

“20 years of working with you and getting a monthly payment, I have put some good in it anyway.”

“I have asked my father and brother to plant coconut trees on the empty plot behind our house. It is quite a big area, about three acres of land.”

“The land was inherited from my grandfather by my father. My brother is in charge of taking care of the plants. We share the income.”

“Beside that three acres of land which is big enough for us all (my 2 brothers and I), we can build a house each. Two other sisters of mine will make their home in Johor as they are all married to Johorians”

“I have a substantial amount of savings in my Bank Simpanan Nasional account. It is enough to built a two bedroom house for my self. A kampung style house. A mixture of wood and cement. So I think, I will be taken care off in my old age.”

“But I still want to work with you because you are just like a sister to me now. So why worry about getting married that might not come out well.”

CIKGUTANYA : For a person who never went to school and who cannot read nor write, she can think objectively.

Loyalty 4

2010-08-04T05:20:00.000-07:00

No 5: A 49 year old man. Never married.

“All his sisters were married.”

“So he is living with mother and father without his sisters. His parents are old. The mother is 80 years old, the father is 84 years old. They are not invalid but might be one soon.”

“He wanted a wife to take care of him and his parents. Cooking, washing, and everything else in the house.”

“He goes to work in the plantation and I will stay home to take care of his parents.”

“I really don’t mind taking care of the old, but, I am questioning his intention. He just wanted me to be the unpaid maid of the house.”

No 6: A man from her own village.

“I don’t want to marry him, because he wants me to live with him and his domineering mother. In short he is a mama’s baby.”

No 7 : A man recommended by her auntie.

“I saw him, his behavior was very weird. He likes to smile alone. He talk to the trees while his mother and father were in the house talking to my parents. I saw him from the window of my room. Now, his parent must have wanted me to take care of their ‘gila’ (mad) son.”

Cikgutanya; It is not easy to make a major decision.

Loyalty 3

2010-08-02T17:11:00.001-07:00

No 3: A widower.

“His wife passed away.”

“He’s looking for a new wife to take care of his five kids, aged one to six.”

“I don’t want to be a cruel step mother. One or two kid maybe I don’t mind. But five!”

“Can you imagine the behavior of five kids of that age? He himself won’t be able to control them. The house will be in a mess, and I won’t be able to stand that!”

“I might lose my patience and will eventually hit them. That becomes cruelty and can be reported to TELEDERA!”

“Imagine also taking care of five kids and doing everything else. Huh! I will die standing”

No 4: A man in his 30’s.

“I don’t want to marry him because he wanted us to stay with his mother after we were married.”

“His mother is old and invalid. She can’t even walk, she just lie on the mattress. Someone must help her do everything.”

“His sister was just recently married and moved to Negeri Sembilan following her husband who is a teacher.”

“Before her marriage she did everything for the mother.”

“So, though I never went to school but I know his intention. He just wanted to get married so that his wife will be taking care of his mother for him.”

“In short he just wanted me to be his unpaid maid in the name of a wife.”

“Don’t you think he’s very selfish?”

CIKGUTANYA: I have to admit that she’s right! More tomorrow!

LOYALTY 2

2010-07-30T15:34:00.000-07:00

Here is the list of men that had proposed to her family for her hand in marriage:

No 1: A policeman.

“He is seven years younger than I am.”

“I think that if I am 55 years old he will only be 49, people will think that he’s my younger brother.”

“I don’t want people to be laughing behind my back.”

She was 33 then and this policeman was 26. I told her that it is ok to marry a younger man because a lot of women did it.

“They can go and marry and be a cradle snatcher but not me. I just cannot do it.”

No 2: An Indian Muslim guy.

My maid is an avid fan of Hindi film.

Forth nightly she will be going to Jalan Masjid India in Kuala Lumpur and buy a lot of Hindi film’s compact disc videos. I bought her a 20 inch television set and a compact disc player for her. She watched it in her room when she had done the housework. When Shah Rukh Khan, Salman Khan and Amir Khan were here in Malaysia for a show, she paid RM 350.00 to go to the show on her own.

So when this man approached her family, she asked her mother, “Does he looked like Shah Rukh Khan?”

“No”

“Then I don’t want to marry him!”

CIKGUTANYA: My cats, “go ahead” and “go astern” want their dinner.

Continue tomorrow.

LOYALTY

2010-07-29T08:05:00.000-07:00

My maid is a local girl.

She had been with me for the past 20 years.

My youngest son was only two years old when she started working and staying with me. She can’t read nor write. She had never been to school out of poverty and the attitude of her parents.

Her father thought that she would be better off at home helping her mother doing the household chores.

When I asked her father why he thought that she should stay at home and help her mother, his answer was,

“A woman no matter how intelligent she was, will end up in the kitchen.”

A very gender like comments. But I just keep quite.

None of her bothers and sisters completed school.

One day while having dinner with my best friend she asked me,

“Your maid had been with you for so long, what about the chance of her getting married?”

“Do you know that it is sinful to stop her from getting married?”

“She should be given a chance to have a life of her own. Your children are all grown up and you don’t need her anymore.”

My friend lectured me.

Then I told my friend, “The truth is, in the span of 20 years when she’s with me, eight different men had approached her family for her hand in marriage. She rejected all of them.”

“Why?”

“My dear friend, I asked my maid why she rejected all of the proposal and this are her answers.”

“Of the eight men that asked for my hand in marriage , but I rejected them all. I will tell you later”

Cikgutanya: Eight men asked her hand for marriage. For me, only one man did and he’s now my husband.

Continue tomorrow.

LIONS! Eating Grass!

2010-07-25T17:12:00.000-07:00

My friend followed her husband who was posted to New York.

The brought their two little babies. Age eight months and two years.

They stayed there for five years.
When they came back the oldest was seven and the youngest was five years old. The children can speak the native’s tougue very well.

One day my friend and I brought our children to the zoo.

On the way to the zoo there were about 10 cows grazing the grass by the road side.

My friend’s oldest daughter screamed, “ Mama! Mama! Look at the lions, so big eating grass!”

I looked at my friend and she just shrugged her shoulder.

I told her “You are very bad!”

She said to me, “If you are good make sure my children loves animal and know all about the animal. I leave it to you, my dear friend.”

We arrived at the zoo, the children was very happy. My friend’s children only knew the name of a few animals like giraffe, elephant and kangaroo.

My jaw was so tired of answering their questions. They were so excited to know about all the animals.

They are now in their twenties and they watch National Geographic every day on television.

“Aunty, you make us interested in animals and the trip to the zoo before was an eye opener to us. Thanks aunty. We are now saving some of our pocket money to go to Sabah Orang Utan’s Sanctuary and The African Safari Park one day.”

Good. I have fulfilled my friend’s wish.

CIKTUTANYA; My children: No 1 only interested in sports program. No 2 – food channel. No 3 – music channel. Me – CSI freak.

Hurt 3

2010-07-21T07:38:00.001-07:00

“It was not easy. I have to worked and at the same time study. The only person who understand of what I went through is you, teacher. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

“But, dear, he is still your father. Please go and visit him for the sake of respect.”

“Respect? Teacher, respect must be earned not commanded.”

“I am still hurt by his behavior.”

“How can I respect him? He never did anything for me.”

“What I achieved today is my own doing with the help of the school teachers, you and the government. He did nothing!”

“But, he is still your father. He did some mistake when he was young. He is old now. I am very sure he had regretted his actions before.’

“Any way, you have 5 other siblings. Your mother had two children with your stepfather. And your father got three more with your stepmother. You have five siblings in total. I know you are quite close with your sisters because you go to your mother’s place. But I don’t think you have seen your other siblings since you never go to your father’s house. You might not even know them now.”

“Thank you for your advice, but I am not going to see him still. Give me time but not now.”

He did his degree in Hotel Management and Catering. After graduation he worked in a hotel as a banquet manager. He took home quite a handsome pay. He bought himself a superbike. He joined this group of superbikers and they go round the country in a group ocassionally.

CIKGUTANYA : My dear, I understand! I understand!

Hurt 2

2010-07-19T07:54:00.000-07:00

Working with this catering company earned him RM50 a day. He only worked on weekends and during the school holidays.

He managed to pass all his public examination (PMR, SPM and STPM) and then furthering his studies in one of the local university. In the local university, he supported himself. He even paid the fees of his studies by working part time.

He worked part time in a hotel as a waiter for special events and on weekends and term breaks. He works from 9am till 3pm. He was a good and trustworthy worker. The hotel sometimes asked him to do other jobs besides being a waiter with extra pay.

Every year he will come to my house usually on the New Year day.

He still stays with his blind grandmother. His grandfather had passed away.

His mother is still with her husband plus two more kids. This boy visited his mother once in a while because his stepfather just didn’t care enough about him.

What about his father?

He never visited his father.

“Why should I go and visit him. He was never there for me. I have to fend for myself since I am thirteen.”

CIKGUTANYA: What would you do, if you were him?

HURT

2010-07-17T16:45:00.000-07:00

His father abandoned him and his mother when he was twelve. His mother was granted a divorce by the court six months later. Abandoned, no money given, they were left in the lurch.

From what he told me, his father married his new wife one week after leaving his mother.
They had to live with his grandparents (mother’s side). His grandmother was blind due to glaucoma and his grandfather was 76 years old and very sick. His grandparents received aid from the government of only RM75 and that means both of them got RM150 a month. His mother had to work as a cleaner in a private office in order to get them through.

Five months after being divorced, his mother got married to a widower with two small children. My student told me that he understood why his mother had to get married. To find a man who can take care of her. And he didn’t mind.

She moved in with her new husband and left him with her parents (his grandparents). He wanted that too, to be able to stay with his grandparents.

After school, this boy at the tender age of thirteen worked as a dish washer at a restaurant nearby and got paid RM10.00 a day.

But he was never late for school. He completed his homework. He gave no reasons for teachers to get angry at him.

Since I was the Senior Assistant (Student’s Affair) of the school, he always confided in me.

He received a government scholarship of RM 300.00 a year.

He worked from the age of 13 until 15 as a dishwasher, and then at the age of 16 until 18 he worked part time with a catering company.

CIKGUTANYA: My hamsters are fighting. Got to go and look into the matter. Continue tomorrow

CHOCOLATE AND BEARS

2010-07-15T07:59:00.000-07:00

I sent my daughter to an all girls’ boarding school. Since she was the eldest daughter, we have high hopes on her. Every parent will definitely have.

When we sent her to the school, the whole family followed. We had to leave her with tears in our eyes as that was the first time she was left alone.

Two weeks later we were allowed to take her home.

She sounded happy. Excited, my husband and I asked her about her stay in the hostel.

She told me,“Mama, there is this senior in my school. She likes me very much. She always gave me chocolates, small bears and sometimes she kissed me. My friend told me that I am lucky because a senior care and like me.”

Dup! Dup! My heart missed a beat.

“Is she a Form Five student?”

“Yes”

“What about her hair?”

“Short”

“What about her chest?”

“Flat, very flat, as if she tied her chest with something very tight.”

That day I had to give my daughter a talk on lesbianism.

CIKGUTANYA: Children of today need to be taught sex education, the right way!

Perception

2010-07-14T07:01:00.001-07:00

In 1995, I was a very active member of the Girl Guide association of the school that I was teaching.

During the school holidays, the association organized a trip for the members at the beach of Port Dickson. Three bus load of members went with it. The number was 120 school members and 20 teachers were involved.

We planned everything from games, quiz, show, talk etc. It was fun. The members liked it very much. We had fun , we had joy. Everyday there’ll be a lot of activities. We like the game of traditional bowling. We used the coconut as the ball and mineral water bottles as the pins. We had competition in the form of building sand castles. We built a pyramid, simulate the Great Wall of China and all the wonders of the world. It was beautiful and fun.

In the group we had a female teacher. She is beautiful, she got the looks of a film star. Very sweet. She was so poise. Everything was perfect with her.

The other teachers and I admire her beauty. These are some of the remarks heard in the conversation.

“If we, women or ladies like her look, what more for a man.”

“God really blessed her with look. We hope that her heart will be as beautiful as her looks.”

“If I had a son, I will marry her off with my son but I have 5 daughters isk isk isk.”

“Not only she’s beautiful but she is a good teacher and a very hardworking Girl Guide member.”

“The man who get to marry her will be very lucky.”

One day, after a great time at the beach, I went to the restroom of the hotel. She did the same. I got into one cubicle to do my business (nature’s call – the small one) and she got into the next cubicle.

Suddenly, “Pooot”.

Sound from her cubicle. My God, she farted just like any other person, but she is beautiful like Cinderella. The moment I left the restroom, my feelings toward her changed. She was just a human being with human short-comings.

CIKGUTANYA: Me and my perception.

Mother's Food

2010-07-13T07:09:00.000-07:00

My neighbour liked to asked my children about the food that I prepare for them. My first son, aged 8, at that time, will answer all her question. Now he is 27 and married.

Breakfast:

“What do you have for breakfast today?”

“We have nasi lemak , delicious.”

“What kind of gravy your mother made for the nasi lemak, anchovies, prawn or chicken.?

“No gravy, we can’t stand chilly. Too hot.”

“So , how do you eat you nasi lemak?”

“With boil eggs, cucumber and peanut.”

“Is it all?”

“Yes, and it is very delicious.”

Lunch time:

“What do you have for lunch?”

“Rice”

“What are the dishes for the lunch?”

“Omelet, cucumber and chicken soup.”

“Is it delicious?”

“Yes, very delicious.”

Dinner time:

“What do you have for dinner”

“Rice, egg with soy sauce, cucumber and chicken soup.”

“Is it delicious”

“Yes , very nice!”

My children, a girl and three boys just love the food I prepared for them without any comment. They will eat whatever I cooked, and every time,

“Mama, delicious.”

I just make sure that there will be vegetables on the table. They just love vegetables.

Now they are all grown up, still love vegetables and whatever food I cook. It gave me great pleasure seeing them eat and enjoy the food.

I always pray to God, “Don’t let the death angel take my life away while I am enjoying myself seeing my children eat the food I cooked. Take my life after they have finished eating.”

I have trained my maid to cook food they way I cooked it. She can.

CIKGUTANYA : My dear children , you mean the world to me.

Puppy Love

2010-07-12T07:03:00.000-07:00

He was in love with the girl . Both in Form Six. He has a motorcycle. They came to school together. After school he will send her back to her home. Both families know about their relationship. They will eat together in the canteen during recess.

For me and a few friends of mine we were lucky because they were not from the same class. It’s easier to teach.

Some teachers of the school advised them on how to behave in school.

“Please don’t show too much of your loving feeling.”

“This is a school not garden of love.”

“Are you sure that you will marry him?’’

“Please, behave yourselves, you are giving a very bad example to your junior.”

One teacher in particular gave them a stern warning.

“Do you know what you are doing is wrong religiously. Both of you are not husband and wife. How can you girl, ride on the motorcycle him. Boy , how can you let her do it?”

“Girl, he is a man, he likes what you are doing to him. But what about you? Are you sure he will be your husband? You know, girl and boy, by doing what you are doing now you will be ending up having sex. It is wrong to have sex if you are not married. Boy, you should know better. Didn’t your family teach you about religion? What if your future children do this. What will you say?”

The boy retorted angrily, “Please leave my parents out of this. They are nice people. They taught us everything. And teacher, regarding my future children, I will make sure I will put a box full of condoms at the door. They can pick it up on their way out. Are you happy now, teacher?”

He continued, “Teacher, please understand that we know about religion, the don’t and the
do’s, but teacher, please tell us how not to fall in love. We are just in love and nothing else. We don’t go overboard. Please don’t judge us.”

CIKGUTANYA: Finally both got married to a different person. It was only puppy love.

Snake with four feet

2010-07-11T06:50:00.000-07:00

The students of the city, some of them, if I may say, do not even know how some creatures of the wild looked like.

When I was the principal in this school, a former student donated some money for the beautification of the school. After a brief meeting with the administrators, we chose to built a Japanese garden with a fish pond in it.
The area was about 25 feet by 25 feet, just like farmville. When it was ready it really look beautiful. We asked the former student to officiate the opening of the garden. Her name was crafted on the stone at the garden.

We bought about 40 Japanese carp (fish) of different colors, beautiful, about 6 inches long. Costing about RM 20/= each.

The next morning, two of the fishes were missing. I thought maybe one of the naughty boys took the fish home.

For one week, I kept missing one or two fishes a day. I was perplexed as to who the culprit was.

One day, a boy came to me and told me, “Teacher, a snake got into the fish pond and it is eating the fish!”

I went to the pond immediately and saw a monitor lizard (biawak) eating the fish.

“That is not a snake, that is a monitor lizard.”

“No, teacher, that is a snake with four feet!”

CIKGUTANYA: Student should watch National Geographic to know about animals.

JUDO

2010-07-10T15:52:00.000-07:00

Mr Muthu was my judo teacher. I was in Form Four then.

I joined the judo club for RM10/= per term. On Thursday every week, there will be judo practice.

“Girl, come out here!” and ‘Bummmmm’ he threw me on the judo mattress. For 1½ hours it will be practice and practice. My body ache all over.

My grandmother told me, “Stop going to the Judo class. Look at your body, bruises here and there. One day you might break a bone or two. What is the use of learning how to fight.”

I refused. I like judo very much. It gave me a sense of power and strength.

“Ok, if that’s what you want!”

One day after judo practice, I felt a fever coming over me. My body ached.
I went straight home.

At home, there were piles of plates and glasses that need to be washed (a group of my grandfather’s friend came to the house – so hi-tea was served by my grandmother).

My grandmother said, “Please help me clean and wash the plates, cups and glasses.”

“Grandma, I am very tired. There was judo practice today and I am not feeling well.”

“If you don’t help me now, tomorrow I am going to see your Mr Muthu to get you out of the judo class.”

Suddenly, I felt all the pain gone. I just cleaned all the plates, cups and glasses. After everything was cleared, I took a shower and off to sleep at 8.30 pm.

CIKGUTANYA: One of the best slumber I have ever had. The magic of forced persuasion.

ALUMNI

2010-07-08T19:33:00.000-07:00

About six of my former students of 1977 got together.

They wanted to have a get together dinner with former friends and teachers. Using the latest IT gadget, hand phones and the internet they managed to do it. I was there to celebrate with them.

As a teacher. There’s nothing like seeing your ex-student together again. We reminisced about the good old days, talked about school, former teachers, their antics at school when they were in school before. Long gossips on students, teachers and what not.

Then, I saw one particular boy, on the heavier side with half of his hair gone.

“Teacher, how are you? Long time no see.” The normal phrase for meeting.

“I am fine. Din (not his real name).”

“How long have it been, Din?”

“Teacher, about 30 years we have not met.”

“Din, what are you doing now? I mean career wise.”

“I am a Professor with a local university now.”

CIKGUTANYA: Professor? Congratulations. My students a Professor, Dato’, Businessman, Lt Colonel. ME - Still a teacher until I die!

Unable to Sleep

2010-07-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

When I was the Principal of this all girls school, my senior assistant organized a trip to Langkawi Island that would allow the student to travel by train.

None of the girls have had the experience of travelling on the train before. The trip was then their first time. They were very happy and excited indeed.

From KL Central, we boarded the train to Kuala Perlis. It was very noisy. All of them were very excited. 70 students and 14 teachers. Havoc was nearly created at the station. Everybody wants to be the first to board the train.

Two special coaches were allocated to us. It was fun. The girls brought so much food with them as though they were going to starve. They had a jolly good time eating along the way. Sandwiches and a lot more.

I bought two tickets for berth (sleeping bed) on another coach, for me and my son.
The train started to move at 8.30 pm.

I went straight to the berth. We had our dinner at Kuala Lumpur Central Station. I bought a packet of fried noodles and four bottles of mineral water. So feeling hungry is out of question.

I told my son to sleep or lie down on the berth as I need to go to the other coach to check on the students.

Arrogantly my son told me, “Mama I don’t think I can sleep tonight. The train moves and it shakes to the left and right. I don’t think I will be able to sleep in this kind of condition. I will be wide awake the whole night.”

I told him, “My dear, just try!”

That was at 9.00 pm.

“No! No! I won’t be able to sleep. But I will try!”

“Dear just try to sleep. I want to go and see my students, then I will come back to sleep. Ok?”

“Ok, mama. I will be waiting for you wide awake.”

I moved to the other coach to see my students and teachers.

At 9.45 pm after everything was settled. I went back to the sleeping berth.

My unable to sleep son was going “zzzzzzzzzz. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”

The train shakes to the left and right alright. But my son, keep on snoozing and snoring.

CIKGUTANYA: My son, you are the apple of my eyes.

Raye 5

2010-07-06T07:47:00.000-07:00

“If I can’t marry him and taking care of him I have made a decision.”

“What is your decision?”

“I will just concentrate on my company and when I am old, I think I will find a group of woman who are not married, open up a home and called it ‘The Golden Girls’.

“What do you think?”

“Do what ever you think best for yourself.”

After three months in the hospital in Singapore, he decided to go back to Germany for further treatment. He went with his parents.

Until today he is still there. His health is deteriorating by the day.

She told me over the phone when she visited him in Germany, “He is just like a skeleton now, sob… sob… sob.”

“He can’t speak but his eyes told me that he really love and care for me. My heart is broken to million pieces.”

She is now in Malaysia, pining for him, always reminisced about the good old days. She cannot call him, because he can no longer speak.

Only his parents gave her the update of his condition once a week and it is not good at all.

“Maybe it is my fate that, I won’t be able to marry for the rest of my life.”

“I love him, but I can’t live without him. I can’t be there for him as a wife and he can’t be with me as my husband.”

“We are girlfriend and boyfriend, but truthfully, since our school days, he made me a very happy girlfriend. The money can’t give me the happiness that I seek.”

“I want him to get well, and marry me. I will be waiting for him.”

CIKGUTANYA : My dear friend , I am sad for you too, but I am helpless.

Raye 4

2010-07-05T08:49:00.000-07:00

While he was in hospital, he called Raye often from the hospital in Germany. After four months he came back on a wheelchair. She was very sad. He continued his treatment in Singapore. But before he went to Singapore he did something, which to me was such a beautiful gesture. He did it because he loved her very much.

His father, his brother, him and Raye went to a lawyer’s firm. The lawyer was their mutual friend. Raye’s boyfriend drew up a will with his father and brother as witnesses.

In the will he stated that if he dies, his girlfriend, Raye, will be given RM One million.

She was shocked and refused to signed the paper of acceptance.

“I don’t want the money , I want you to get well and marry me. Our families had agreed to it. I want to live and be your wife. And I want you to be my husband. I have money , I don’t want this money. Keep it or give it to your family. I just want us to be together. Please , don’t do this as if you will die tomorrow. Please don’t leave me… we have been in love for so long and you know that money is not important to me. You are!”

But he insisted and the lawyer advised her to accept it.

She called me and told me about it.

My comment was , ”You are so lucky , not even a wife but he willed you RM one million.”

But in the will stated that if she marries someone else, the money must be donated to an orphanage (named by him).

“So are you going to get married?” I asked.

“No, I am 48 years old.”

“There will be only married man on the market. I don’t want to hurt anybody. ”

“I just want to marry my boyfriend and live happily ever after. But look him now, I just want to marry him now, but he refused.”

“I don’t mind taking care of him, be with him but he won’t listen to it. I am helpless.”

CIKGUTANYA: Continue tomorrow . My friend Raye is coming over for dinner . We are going to talk and talk throughout the night. She needed someone to talk to.

Raye 3

2010-07-04T07:20:00.000-07:00

They both are members of a club, and everyday they went there to dine and dance. They are very romantic. But they cannot get married because both families are still against that. She played snooker. She was the champion of the club in the snooker competition. She had been to Hongkong, Bangkok and Manila for snooker competitions under the sponsorship of the club. He supported her on these activities.

Whenever she was sick, he will cook her some porridge and sent it to her office. If he is sick, she will be fretting over him.

When the word “marriage” arises, by friends or families, they just shrugged off their shoulders. He bought her a car, a nice Volvo, for her birthday. They showered each other with expensive gift every now and then.

I pitied them.

In 2006, both families finally agreed that they should get married. For the families felt that after 20 years, whilst they were against the marriage, these two lovebirds still get together and refused to marry anybody else.

Wedding plans were made.

But, before the wedding, her boyfriend had to go to Germany to purchase a very important equipment needed by his engineering company. He got to be in Germany for three weeks training and testing.

Two days before he came back, he met with an accident in Germany. He was incapacitated. He cannot walk. For four months he was on traction in the hospital.

After the trial for compensation, the German court granted him one million euro for losses of limbs, paid by the insurance company of the vehicles that hit him.

When he was young he also took up a lot of insurance in Malaysia worth about one million ringgit.
.
But now he cannot manage his company, so his father sold off his company for three million ringgit.

CIKGUTANYA: Money can’t buy you happiness if you are not healthy.

Raye 2

2010-07-03T11:48:00.000-07:00

A good friend of theirs, agreed to handle their wedding.

A hotel was booked for their wedding reception.

Everything was beautiful, the flowers, the wedding dress and everything else.

Two days before the wedding, they have their pre-wedding rehearsal. His mother came, shouted at Raye and gave her humiliating remarks. Then she slapped Raye. The wedding was called off but they are still together.

“Why Raye, you should have just carried on with the wedding.”

“No, her words were too painful and hurtful to swallow.”

“Now, my boyfriend loves me so much, but I think, his mother won’t stop even if we were married. I am very sure she will do everything in her power to make her son hate me and divorce me. Let us be in love forever, but not get married.”

They are still together till today.

He will help her manage her company. Whenever she faces problems, especially on finance, he will help her pull through.

She will be with him, encouraging him to do well in developing his company.

After ten years his company really flourished. He got lot of tenders and jobs.

He bought his equipment from a company in Germany.

The family keeps on pressing them to find another person to marry but it fell onto deaf ears. They were always together, whenever time permitted them. He still stays with his parents and she stayed with her parents. They met frequently.

CIKGUTANYA: I will continue tomorrow.

Raye 1

2010-07-02T09:13:00.000-07:00

Her nicknamed is Raye . A very dear friend of mine. I knew her seven years ago.

She fall in love with this boy, of a different race and religion, when they were together doing Form Sixth in school. After Form Sixth she furthered her studies in a teachers’ training college so that she could work as a teacher.

He left school and went on to do an engineering course in USA. They keep contacting each other through letters. There was no mobile phone then.

Once back home, he got into the engineering profession.

But after seven years he quit to open up his own engineering firm. He did well in the business.

She resigned as a teacher and opened up her own company, dealing in services and supplies to the government department.

They wanted to get married but,

“No, I can’t accept your choice. He is from a different race and religion. Why don’t you find someone from your own race and religion?” Her mother told her off.

“But, we were in love since school days!”

“I won’t accept it. And that’s final!” Her father told her.

On his side,

“Mummy, I want to marry Raye. I love her very much.”

“No, I can’t accept you choice. She is from a different race and religion. Why don’t you find someone from your own race and religion.” His mother also told him off.

“But, we were in love since school days.”

“I won’t accept it. And that’s final!” His father told him.

They were still together. They just cannot break off their relationship.

CIKGUTANYA : Hmmm Romeo and Juliet kind of love.

WHEELCHAIR

2010-07-01T08:20:00.000-07:00

This boy was wheelchair bound.

He was down with muscular disorder. He was studying in Form Four when I first met him. He was an intelligent boy and hard working in the science stream.

What I like most about him was his optimistic approach towards life.

One day, his friends from his class keep on pushing his wheelchair on the pavement of the class back and forth – back and forth, passing from one student to another. One boy pushed the wheelchair to the front. The other boy will push it back. And they did it at high speed. The boy on the wheelchair just laughed and laughed.

I had to scream at the boys for doing that, but he stopped me and said,

“Teacher, I want to be treated as equals. Don’t worry teacher. I won’t fall.”

“Please teacher, I like to be teased, laughed at, being bullied because at least I know my friend treated me as a normal human being and not as an invalid. Please teacher.”

He managed to get good results in his public exam and was offered a place to further his studies at the local university.

He then graduated and got a job in an audit firm. But he passed away two years after graduation leaving all the memories of yesteryears.

CIKGUTANYA: Boy, your spirit will live on.

RM250 Fees

2010-06-30T04:05:00.001-07:00

I met a former student of mine. While in school he was such a difficult student to handle always up to some kind of trouble.

“Teacher, how are you, long time no see. You haven’t change a bit.”

“I am growing old, dear boy.”

“Teacher, everybody grow old, but you are still the jovial person I know before. Where are you teaching now, teacher?”

“In this school, in the middle of the city.”
I named the school.

“Oh, I know that school. It is very notorious for it’s hardcore student.”

“Yeah, you are right but we teachers and administrators are trying to change the stigma of the school. We organized a lot of programs, so the students will be proud of the school.”

“Good teacher, I know , because I was once a very naughty boy but I have repented.”

“Good for you.” I told him.

“Teacher, is there any student at your present school who really make your life very difficult?”

“Yes, of course, I am still thinking how to go about in handling this boy.”

“Teacher, don’t worry. What part of his body you want as evidence. The ear, the nose, just tell me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Teacher, you just put RM 250/= into my bank account. Give me the details of this boy including his photo. I will handle him for you.”

“WHAT?”

“It is very easy, very easy, teacher!”

“No! No! No! He’s young and he can still be taught.”

“OK teacher, but if you change your mind, this is my phone number.”

He gave me his card.

I never contacted him.

CIKGUTANYA: Thinking of him give me the creeps.

New Broom 4

2010-06-29T09:08:00.000-07:00

The choices :

No 1 : Beautiful , persistent
No 2: easy going person
No 3: motherly

“I don’t want all of them. I have a girl friend. She just finished her degree course and is currently doing her diploma in education also. She wants to be a teacher too, just like me.”

“Why don’t you tell the three women teachers?”

“Why should I? I like them to fight and to fret over me. It gives me the pleasure of competition.”

His comments about the 3 female teachers:

Female 1:
“Why should I tell her, she likes talking to me. Let her talk. Whenever she want to talk about feelings, I will talk to her about the students or our career and the responsibility that comes with it.”

Female 2:
“Keep on asking me out, I tell her I sleep early to prepare for next day schooling activities.”

Female 3:
“I took her food, but in front of her I also offered it to the other teachers to be eaten together. So what is so difficult.”

CIKGUTANYA: Man and their ego.

New Broom 3

2010-06-28T07:58:00.000-07:00

FEMALE TEACHER 2
Attractive. Bubbly character.26 years old.

She is jealous. “Please don’t talk to her. She’s not nice. I am sure she is trying to tackle you. Just ignore her.”

“I don’t like you to talk to her. I am very jealous.”

“Please talk to me only.”

“What do you do this weekend, can we go for a movie and then for supper?. You fetch me at 8.30 pm, OK?”

“My mum and dad is very sporting. They don’t mind. I am very sure they will like you ”

“Please………..”

FEMALE TEACHER 3:

“I cook this traditional kuih (cakes) for you. Please have a taste of it. It took me three hours to cook this.”

“Tomorrow, I will cook you some nasi lemak.” (rice cooked with coconut milk and eaten with chili anchovies, cucumber and boiled or poached egg).

“I am very sure you will like to eat home cooked food since you stay with your bachelor friends. You can come to my house if you feel like to eat home cooked dishes. I don’t mind cooking for you for the rest of my life!”

I told my nephew, “You are a lucky man, three women are interested in you. Pick one.”

CIKGUTANYA: Go girl, go get your man!

New Broom 2

2010-06-27T09:04:00.000-07:00

One day, I asked my nephew about the male and female teachers in his school.

He told me, “If I just want to be an ordinary teacher, I would follow them but I gave up a promising career because of my desire to be a teacher, to teach the young of the nation and to be the best.”

He refused to follow the footstep of his peers. I congratulated him for that. He kept his distance from the complacent male teachers and get closer to the good and diligent female teachers.

For the female teachers, a different story is told.

Three of the female teachers are single. They try hard to win his attention and they have their own style to do it.

FEMALE TEACHER ONE:

She’s 32 years old . Four years older than my nephew. Attractive. Good figure. Diligent. Loves her career.

After school while waiting for the co-curricular activities to start and while eating their lunch, she will always try to sit with my nephew, just to talk.

“I just don’t understand why you didn’t find a woman that you want to marry. You are 28. I am very sure there’s a lot women that would want you to be their husband. Am I right? What would you like your future wife to be?”

My nephew answered, “Not necessary for her to have looks like a goddess – as long as she is presentable, nice, can get along with people, a career woman and will have to be able to love my family too.”

“What about cooking?”

“It doesn’t matter , as long as it is palatable, it is ok for me.”

“I think I have all that quality, don’t you think so dear.”

CIKGUTANYA : Ladies can be bold.

NEW BROOM

2010-06-26T05:15:00.000-07:00

My nephew is a new teacher in this urban school.

He was an engineer with the national airlines before. His qualification was engineering in aerospace. It was a very promising career.

But after four years with the airlines engineering department, he quit and did his diploma in education to become a teacher.

“You are stupid,” I told him.

“What was your parents reaction?”

He told me, “They said, ‘do whatever you think best for yourself – you are the one who will live with your decision. Whatever decision you make or choose we will always support you’.”

He got his diploma and get posted to this school.

He is fair, 28 years old, clean face (not even one pimple) smartly clothed, a neat person. You should see his handwriting. Neat as if it is being printed by a laser printer. I used to envy his handwriting.

He is full of energy. He likes being a teacher. Maybe the blood is in him!

The senior assistant is my good friend. She will call me regularly to talk to me and sometimes my nephew’s name will be mentioned.

It seems the male teachers of this school are too complacent. They just go day by day to school and do the teaching without any zest.

They always try to turn my “new broom sweeps clean” nephew to be like them.

CIKGUTANYA : It is hard to be a new person / officer or staff in any organization.

Siput Babi 2

2010-06-25T17:31:00.000-07:00

It moved very slowly.

Very, very slow.

My son asked me, "We talked a lot today mama. What I like most about talking to you is your understanding. You listen to what I want to say with an open heart. I love you for that."

“But mama, what do you think this pig-snail (siput babi) is thinking when it moves slowly?”

Hmmmm … good question. I have to think hard.

“Well, the pig-snail (siput babi) might think about the yummy green leaves that he is going to eat when he reach it.“

“No, that is not correct!"

“Maybe the pig-snail (siput babi) is thinking about us. What is this old woman and his son doing talking here when there are better places to be in.”

“No, still not correct!"

“Maybe the pig-snail (siput babi) is thinking that it is a long way to his home. His wife and kids must have been waiting for him for lunch.”

“No, mama, not right!”

“My darling son, then please tell me, what is this pig-snail (siput babi) thinking about right now?”

“Mama, the pig-snail is thinking about his identity – IS HE A PIG OR A SNAIL (adakah dia siput atau babi)!”

CIKGUTANYA: I love you my son. You bring joy to my life.

SIPUT BABI

2010-06-24T06:27:00.000-07:00

My son and I were walking in the park.

We talked about his study, my job, about the future and a lot of things. We joked

About his study :

“Mama, I will be finishing my study soon but I don’t want to be an engineer. Can I be a photographer?”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, I just like it. I am not sure.”

About my job:

“Will you retire earlier, mama?”

“Not sure, I want to work until I’m 58. But I want to get my gratuity earlier. At least I will have some money.”

About the future:

“Mama, I don’t know between my two girlfriends, which one to choose to be my wife?”

Choices, choices, choices!

And then we saw a siput babi or a pig-snail (a name given to a species of snails in our country).

CIKGUTANYA ; I have to go . I will continue tomorrow

Kentucky Fried Chicken

2010-06-23T07:33:00.000-07:00

I was being assigned to teach history in four classes.

Two good classes and two mediocre classes.

I then made a promise to the students from the two mediocre classes, if they pass their history paper in the final exam at the end of the year, I will take them to Kentucky Fried Chicken for a treat.

Six students passed the final exam.

I took them to the KFC near the Central Market Kuala Lumpur in my van.

I choked when I heard one boy this to say tohis friends:

“This is the first time, I eat at KFC. My parents only have enough money to get us by, day by day. Food is scarce. As long there is rice on the plate and some dried salted fish to eat, we’re thankful.”

It flashed my mind, what happened to me: A monthly family trip to KFC.

My first son: “Mama, I only want the wings!”

My second son: “Mama, I only want the breast!”

My third son: “Mama, I only want the drumstick!”

My daughter: “I only want the fries!”

This boy: He NEVER had the chance to go to KFC for a meal.

My children: Had so many choices to order in the KFC restaurant.

CIKGUTANYA: We should count our blessings that we can have what we want.

The Window 2

2010-06-22T08:19:00.000-07:00

I met with the girl a few years back.

She was still good looking as when she was in school. Now, she is even more beautiful due to her make-up and the way she carried herself.

“What are you doing now?”

“Teacher, I am a GRO at the dangdut club (dance club).”

“Oh, how do you like your job?”

“Well, I like it and it pays me well.”

“How much can you get?”

“Plus tips, between RM2,000 to RM3,000 a month.”

“That much?”

“Yes , teacher.”

“What do you have to do as GRO then?”

“Just entertain my client, dance with them and talk to them.”

“Is that all?”

“Yes, teacher.”

“But what I heard is different. Can you tell me more about the duty of the GRO.”

“It’s just to entertain our client. Otherwise, it’s merely between the client and the GRO, the club have no control over it. We do the extra service on our own.”

“Have you done the extra?”

“No, teacher. Not yet!”

CIKGUTANYA: I hope the “extra” won’t happen.

The Window

2010-06-21T07:46:00.000-07:00

There was this beautiful looking student from my former school. She was a difficult student to handle. But she was very close to me.

“Teacher, you understand me and never judged me. If you need to punish me, you just do it but you never harp on it.”

She played truant. She never concentrate on her study. She like boys and men. Sometimes she even made passes at the male teachers of the school.

Her mother always came to school to see the me for something or another.

One day her mother came to see me with this story.

“My house is an old traditional Malay house with the leave type window. It can be opened wide and it is easier for people to jump in or out of the house.”

“Last night after dinner, my daughter went into her room, locked it from inside. I thought she was doing her revision of school lessons. I was so relieved.”

“But when her father came home from work at 9.30 pm he asked me what was the ladder doing under her windows outside the house. We investigated. My daughter was not in the room!”

“She used the ladder to sneak out of the window to go to town.”

“We searched for her.”

“We asked her friends where she has gone. We finally found her at one of the dangdut center (dance club) enjoying herself.”

CIKGUTANYA: What went wrong? Continue tomorrow.

Mini Skirt 2

2010-06-20T09:05:00.000-07:00

When she was teaching, she would walk round the class. Front and back. Back and front. I was wondering why there were a lot of sharpeners with mirror on the floor. When she walked round the class, comments will be heard from the boys:

“Yellow”

Sometimes, “Lacy red.”

Sometimes, “Lacy blue.”

All these are comments on the color of her panties.

At times pen and pencil just dropped and need to be picked up. I was wondering why.

The boys comments on her.

“Wow, our teacher is one hot lady”

“Fuh ! I think I will pass with flying colors if she teach me!”

“She give me so much inspiration by just wearing the mini-skirt.”

CIKGUTANYA: Now, the students refused and will never picked up anything dropped on the floor.

Mini Skirt

2010-06-19T19:45:00.000-07:00

In the 60’s the mini-skirt was the fad of the day. Quite a number of my teachers wore the mini-skirt to school.

One particular teacher always wore the mini-skirt to school.

She was beautiful. Graduated from a Canadian University with a masters degree. She only taught Form Six. In the 60’s for a woman to study abroad and up to her master degree were rare.

We, the girls, will talk about her.

“She’s so beautiful.”

“So elegant, with her high heels and all”

“She is so poised and her English is superb!”

“I want to follow her style when I am working.”

Me, I just look at her, knowing that I will and can never follow her style. I am just a kampong (village) girl. Simple. And the most important thing I don’t have the legs for mini-skirt.

The boy commented on different things.

Whenever this lady teacher went to the class. She likes to sit on the teacher’s table not on the chair. When she sat on the table she will crossed her legs. And that’s the time the boys will give their comments:

“Blue.”

Sometimes

“Red."

Sometimes

“White.”

It was the color of her panties.

Cikgutanya : Now, teachers are only allowed to wear below the knee skirt. Serve you right boys.

FORGIVENESS IS THE BEST REVENGE 3

2010-06-18T09:05:00.000-07:00

He cried, and cried and cried . I let him cry his heart out.

“Dear, please listen to me , let her go, let her go.”

“ She just didn’t love you anymore. You cannot sacrifice yourself for such a woman. I am a woman but I don’t condoned her behavior.”

“ Let her go. Go and find your happiness.”

“ Your child is being taken care by your-in-law. You can always see him there.”

“ Let her go. Don’t fight it. Let go of her. You will find peace.”

He did it . He divorced her.

He saw his son everyday , sent and fetch his son to and from kindergarten. She just ignored him.

Until one day ,

“Dear ex-son-in-law , please come back to our family. My daughter wants you back. Do it for the sake of your child.”

My student did some investigation.

It seems that the man dumped her .

After my student divorced her, my student’s ex-wife keep on pestering the man to marry her but he refused. As someone’s else wife, he can have fun without any string attached, but once divorced the fun is gone.

My student refused to accept her as he is happy with his life.

He can see his child any time and any day.

He still have a very good relationship with his ex-in-law. He can visit them anytime.

But the most important thing is he has found a new love.

Cikgutanya: Good for you. I pray for your happiness.

Cari "kini baru kau sedar" by JJ

FORGIVENESS IS THE BEST REVENGE 2

2010-06-17T07:33:00.000-07:00

“She fall in love with someone else. It is her boss. I am heart broken. I still love her.”

“How can that be?” I asked

“Before, she was working at a small trading company but the pay wasn’t good. So she moved to another company that pays her more. The present company. She met a woman who had been working there for seven years. This woman introduced her to the big boss. The number three man at the company.”

“As she was your former student, you must remember that she was very soft-spoken, very lady-like and she is beautiful.”

“Since she worked with this company, she changed. She is a beautiful woman indeed. Now she is even more beautiful. This man is a married man and rich. He got money to spend. He spent it on my wife.”

“Teacher, sometimes she didn’t come home at night. I am helpless.”

“We had a child,a boy, what if, I won’t be able to see my child again after the divorce.”

“What have you done to save this marriage?”

“Everything! To tell you the truth, as a husband, I gave her too much face. I am the one who took care of our baby since birth. I washed, I ironed the clothes, I cooked and everything else in the house.”

“We even went to the marriage counselor for counseling, but she is very stubborn.”

“What about your- in-laws?”

“They advised her too, but to no avail. She just refused to listen to them.”

“How was she with you?”

“She just couldn’t be bothered. Early in the morning, she will be busy getting ready to go to her office to be with him (Her boss), she will just ignore me. She also ignored our son. Off she goes in the car that he gave her and drove off. I am very disturbed. She will be back in the wee hours of the morning or sometimes not at all.”

“Teacher , I pity our child.”

Cikgutanya: I need a piece of roti canai. Continue tomorrow

FORGIVENESS IS THE BEST REVENGE

2010-06-16T03:56:00.001-07:00

He is handsome, tall and tanned.

He was a former student of this school but he was good with the camera so much, that the school asked him to be the ‘unofficial’ photographer of the school.

Every event in the school, taking picture for the school magazine etc he will be there as the photographer.

The school will pay him accordingly for his services.

She was studying in the school doing Form Six. Beautiful, slim and fair.

They met on a photography session at the school and they clicked – the chemistry worked. And soon they were in love.

A very handsome and elegant couple.

The boys envied him. The girls envied her.

She managed to further her studies in a local university and he worked in his father’s company.

After she graduated, they got married.
He was happy. She was also happy.

They lived with her parents and I never heard about them for about five years.

Then one day, on the way up north, a group of of my former students called me and said that they are going to visit me. The next day, eight of them arrived and one of them is the photographer.

The moment he saw me, he cried.

I was wondering why. I took him to the family hall and asked him why he cried.

“Teacher, my wife and I are now in the process of divorcing each other.”

“Why?”

Cikgutanya : Going out for teh tarik (special brewed tea)

Physical Education Lesson

2010-06-15T08:27:00.000-07:00

We liked our Physical Education lessons in school.

In the 60’s and early 70’s there was no PE lesson for girls taught by lady teachers. PE for the boys and girls were taught by the same male teachers.

Nowadays, the girls are being taught by female teachers and the boys by male teachers.

Anyway, we truly enjoyed our PE lesson those days.

When I was in Form Four, PE lesson was taught by a male teacher. He was a hunk. His body, was then like David Hesselhorf of “Bay Watch”. Whew! Tall, dark and handsome.

“Ok, what would you like to play today?” he asked us.

“Rugby, sir. Competition between the girls and the boys!”

“Now, two lines please. The boys on my right and the girls on my left.”

“Once, I blow on the whistle, you start playing.”

“Pheee …….wheeet “

Scrum, pushed, kicked, pulled, screaming and cursing.

Anyway, the boys won. We had fun during the game. But it was sheer competition. Nobody took advantage of the situation. We really fought hard and lost. They (the boys) really fought hard and won. Fair and square.

CIKGUTANYA: If we let the girls and the boys play together today, there will be a lot more babies under the banana tree or at the garbage dump. What say you?

Walkabout Management

2010-06-14T08:13:00.000-07:00

As the principal of this all boys school, I have to be on my toes all the time. Twice a day ,before and after recess I will do my walking about management.

In one class in particular, before recess, I saw no mark on the wall. The paint was still clean. But on my walk after recess I saw shoe-prints on the wall and surprisingly on the ceiling too.

I asked the class teacher to investigate.

She told me, “No one admitted to it, no one knew who did it.”

“OK” I said, “We’ll see about that.”

The first thing the next day I walked into the class.

The boys were quiet and attentive.

“I am not angry at seeing the shoe-prints on the wall and the ceiling. I don’t even want you to paint the wall and the ceiling again. All I wanted is that, the boy who did it to write a phrase beside his shoe-print for the others to remember his deeds.”

One boy put up his hand and asked me, “Teacher, what is the phrase?”

“Since there were 4 shoe-prints – two on the wall and two on the ceiling, please write or paste the phrase just beside those shoe-prints as I say it.”

Phrase one - “The step to success”
Phrase two – “The step to a better future”
Phrase three – “The step of a successful person”
Phrase four – “ The step of a good leader”.

The whole class was then quite.

CIKGUTANYA: We must be very positive in handling negative attitude.

The Buffet 2

2010-06-13T07:01:00.000-07:00

As there was no fixed seating arrangement for the lunch, I sat with a few boys at one corner of the hall.

“How was the food?” I asked them.

One boy answered,

“Teacher, this is the first time that I see so many dishes of food. I don’t know which and what to eat first.”

“Why?”

“At my home there will only be two types of dishes.”

“Fish or chicken and one type of vegetable. If one dish is fried the other one is soupy kind of dish, everyday without fail.”

“Why?”

“Teacher, that is all my parents can afford. Thank you for giving me the chance to join in this lunch. I am very grateful.”

He keeps on eating.

I allowed him to take the leftover food home for the family.

I will now tell my children not to be picky when it comes to food.

CIKGUTANYA: What about you? How many dishes a day? Have you ever thought of others who cannot afford a decent meal daily?

The Buffet

2010-06-12T06:53:00.000-07:00

At the end of every big program that we organized in school, there will be lunch for the teachers and for the group of students who had worked hard to make the event a success.

Usually the students who join in the lunch will be 10 students from the Police Cadet, 10 students from St John Ambulance. 10 students from the Boys Scout, etc. to make up for about 50 students.

These group of student usually helped out for the events like Sports day, Teacher’s day Celebration and Founder’s Day , to name a few of the celebration.

The lunch that was held after this particular Sports Day program was a buffet lunch.

A lot of dishes beautifully laid out.

For the main course, we had rice, chicken curry, fried chicken, sweet and sour fish, beef in chilly, egg omelette, vegetable soup, fried beans , salad, laksa asam and curry noodles

For dessert, jelly, fruits – apple, pineapple, banana and water melon was served.

Drinks like iced-tea, plain water and syrup was free flowing.

The teachers and students will help themselves to the lunch.

Yummy … yummy …. burp ……burp.

CIKGUTANYA; I will continue tomorrow. BURP

The Duck

2010-06-11T07:37:00.000-07:00

In the school that I was posted to, there was this boy that excite me so much

He was very petite. Very “soft” and very feminine like.

The way he walked is just like the Malay idiom “Itik pulang petang” (The duck waddle his way to the barn in the evening).

Can you imagine how the duck walk?

I got hold of a few boys and asked them, “Why don’t you all teach him how to be a proper boy.“

And I don’t think of the request anymore, until, one day the Principal directed me.

“Please take a look what is happening in the toilet. I heard someone screaming from there.”

As normal, I reacted accordingly.

“OK, I’ll do it now!”

I went down to the toilet to do my investigation.

What a sight. This boy (the duck) was only in his brief. A few boys surrounded him and jeered at him.

“You’re not a boy! You’re not a boy! Shame on you! Shame on you!”

The boy (the duck) cried and cried and then screamed.

When asked, the boys have this to tell me.

“Teacher, you asked us to make a boy out of him, to teach him how to be a boy. We did this just to make sure he is a boy before we can teach him how to be a boy!”

CIKGUTANYA: Sickening, sickening. I am sick.

Out of Love 2

2010-06-10T08:51:00.000-07:00

One week after I received the card, they boy came to my house (my house is only 200 meters from the school)

He came crying.

I pretended that I didn’t know about the card.

“What happened Dol?"

“Teacher, my girlfriend Idah is getting married. I received her invitation card yesterday. How could she do this to me. What have I done wrong. How could she fall out of love that easy?”

He told me the girl was being “swept-off” by the man.

It seems while doing the part time job as a tea-lady at the bank one of the officer from the bank managed to win the girl’s heart.

The bank officer is 29 year old. Good looking. Mature. Hold a good post in the bank. Already own an apartment, a car and smartly dressed. The dowry for the girl is RM10,000.

He went to the wedding. So did I.

Three years later, the boy got married.

After four years of marriage, he was blessed with two children.

For her, after seven years of marriage, she was blessed with three kids.

When I met the girl, she never spoke about the boy. But when I met the boy, he still reminisced about the past.

CIKGUTANYA; In the name of love , material matters. The best man will surely win.

Out of Love

2010-06-09T07:07:00.000-07:00

Dol and Idah (not their real name) was two love-bird from a school I was teaching 18 years ago.

Both 16 years old.

Both are prefect.

He is handsome. She is beautiful. Picture perfect. Lovely couples.

They behave themselves.

They never go out of line though in love.

After finishing school while waiting for their public examination result , they work part-time.

The boy worked in the government postal department. The girl in a bank as a tea-lady.

Nine months later, I received an invitation card. A wedding card. I opened the envelope anxious to know whose getting married.

The name of the girl appeared but alas the name of the boy is different.

What happened?

CIKGUTANYA ; see you tomorrow with the continuation. I need a plate of Briyani Rice.

Schizophrenia 2

2010-06-08T08:51:00.000-07:00

Her son was studying in the same school.

He took the boys attitude towards his mother, very badly.

He didn’t like it and used to have verbal confrontations with the boys.

Sometimes he got into a fight with them just to defend his mother.

He hated the words splashed on the wall of the toilet about his mother.

He was then in Form One (13 years old).

For two years he suffered the wrath of the boys and he just couldn’t take it. He turned schizophrenic. He will talk alone, smile alone as if he is in his own world. Sometimes he turned violent.

Salwa and her husband have done everything to make their son normal but failed.

He is now under the supervision of a doctor.

“I didn’t know that my son would take it so seriously about what the boys think or do to me.”

“He was just ok, but truthfully, it disturbed him terribly. I didn’t notice it.”

“What I remember was, he turned quiet and reserved lately. He started talking to himself recently.”

“And at one point he took a knife and put it on my throat and said that he wanted to kill me. He said he heard voices asking him to do it. If I knew it was due to the school environment, I would have him transferred to another school.”

CIKGUTANYA: The price a teacher has to pay in line of her duty.

Schizoprenia

2010-06-07T07:42:00.000-07:00

Salwa (not her real name) was the discipline teacher of a school in the city.

She was strict.

She followed the rules and abide by the law but at the same time compassionate.

There were about 2,400 students (co-ed) in that school. It’s not easy to be in charge. 2,400 students mean 2,400 behaviors. 2,400 students of different background, of different roots, different treatment and different standing in society.

Everyday there will always be a case to be settled. Petty-theft, small fight, big fight, truant, latecomers, going against the teachers and lots and lots of cases.

The notorious boys and the naughty ones, hated her because in order to make sure the discipline of the school is under control she got to be strict with them.

The prefects and the good boys love her for her understanding.

In the toilets, her name will be splashed with unkind comments and remarks.

‘Salwa is bad,’

‘Salwa is unfair.’

‘I hate Salwa.’

‘I want to rape Salwa.’

‘Salwa’s jamban (buttock) is big.’

‘I want to kill Salwa.’ Etc.

Her house is close to the school – sometimes at night the boys will go to her house and throw stones. A couple of times her glass window was broken or they will scream her name with threats.

CIKGUTANYA: I will continue later.

Sports Day

2010-06-06T07:37:00.000-07:00

I was surprised when the school headmaster who is my friend invited me for the school sports day at night. The school was in the remote area.

“Why at night?”

“You just wait and see,” explained the headmaster.

I went.

The tents was put up at the side of the field. Three tents altogether.

“Who paid for it?”

“Our local businessmen.”

There were plenty of food for the guests, chicken curry and rice.

“Who cooked all these food?”

“The teachers. A few chickens that was given to school as school fees were slaughtered for the feast. Everybody will eat together after the sports event. Rice, we have to buy.”

At about 8.00 pm, the parents started to arrive with their family, small children, grandmothers, grandfathers, uncles and aunties. The field was full of them. I never expected a rural school to get so many spectators to a sports day especially at night.

“My friend, I am surprised at the attendance. Even though you hold your sports day at night, still the turn up is good. Why?” I asked my friend.

My friend explained to me that, “The people here just wanted to see the SPOTLIGHT!”

“Huh!”

CIKGUTANYA: Sometimes we take things for granted. We saw spotlights everywhere and everyday in the city but others may have never seen it in their entire life.

Fried Chicken 2

2010-06-05T08:39:00.000-07:00

The headmaster called for a meeting.
“Expel him “
“Cane him”
“Transfer him”
“Tell his father , so his father can punish him”

“Teachers, please give me some time to be with him, before the final decision can be made.”

The boy and the headmaster then met.

“My dear, please tell me why you took the fried chicken from the table?”

“Sir, I didn’t even eat my chicken. I only ate the potato, coleslaw and bun.”

“I had a sister and three brothers at home in the village. They have never eaten a fried chicken before, especially this brand of fried chicken.”

“I want them to have a taste of it. If I bring home the two pieces that was allocated to me, it won’t be enough for all of us.”

“So, that is the reason I took the chicken. I am very sorry.”

My friend, the headmaster, cried.

The boy was forgiven

But the best thing that can happened that day was, the manager of that branded fried chicken’s restaurant sent 20 barrels of fried chicken to the boy’s village to be eaten by the whole village. They had a fried chicken feast!

CIKGUTANYA: We must, first and foremost, know the reason for certain behavior to occur in life, when you least expected it.

Fried Chicken Meal

2010-06-04T07:32:00.000-07:00

One of my friend is a headmaster of a school in a remote area .

To make sure that the children/student come to school on time the state department built a hostel for 180 students. From Standard One to Standard Six.

On the last day of school, the headmaster managed to get one restaurant of a branded chicken to sponsor the last meal for the students before they go back to their village to be reunited with their parents and siblings.

Each student will get two fried chickens, 1 coleslaw, 1 mashed potato, 2 buns and a cup of fizzy drink.

The calculation was :

For students : 180 students x 2 fried chicken per person = 360 pieces
For teachers : 30 teachers x 2 fried chicken per person = 60 pieces

But the restaurant gave 430 pieces of fried chicken. So there were 10 pieces of extras.

The extras were put on the table at the school canteen (covered). The headmaster wanted to give the extra chicken to the school staff. Three of them.

The students and the teacher ate at the dining hall of the hostel.
After meal, all the students line up in the school hall to wait for the school bus.

But when the senior assistant went to the canteen to get the extra fried chicken, there were only seven left. Though it is enough for the staff, since only six is needed , BUT,

“There is a fried chicken thief in this school!” He shouted.

Every student was checked. One boy was caught. With 5 pieces of chicken in his bag.

CIKGUTANYA: See you tomorrow. I need to go out and buy some food. A visitor is coming without prior notice.

The Steward

2010-06-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

He is a steward. Still working and 37 years old.

When he was in the school that I taught, he was a very talkative student. He really likes to talk.

When he has free time, he will come over to the staff room to ask a lot of questions.

He asked me about marriage. He wanted to know what make a marriage go sour.

I told him that, “In marriage there must be a lot of patience. Boy, it’s not the big thing that makes husband and wife quarrel. It’s always the small things like putting the cap back on the toothpaste tube, farting under the blanket, for not hanging the towel on the rack and not to throw it on the bed or on the floor. Burping loudly. Snoring and spitting.”

“If a husband and a wife quarrel because of the big things, they will end up divorced at the early stage of their marriage.. So to have a long lasting marriage, you have to be patient with the “shortcomings” of your partner and ignore the little things.”

Last week, he came back from Paris and he called me. I know he is still not married.

“Hello teacher”

“Yes, long time no hear from you.”

We talked about the past.

Then I asked him “Are you married ?”

“ Not yet”

“Why?”

“Whenever I think of marriage, I always remember your words. It is the small things that ruin the marriage. I don’t want that to happen to me. I am very particular about small things. If my wife is a cluttered type of person, I think my marriage won’t stand a chance. I want her to be spick and span.”

“Then are you still a VIRGIN?’

“No, I am no longer a virgin!”

CIKGUTANYA: I feel really bad. I think I better keep my mouth shut.

Son's Love

2010-06-02T08:03:00.000-07:00

“In the thumb drive, we saw a lot of pictures of him with a woman. When my mother confronted him, he told her she’s his second wife.”

“My mother fainted. She can’t eat nor sleep. She keep on losing weight. She never stop crying.”

“My father just couldn’t be bothered about my mother, he is too busy with his second wife, gallivanting the world, and that’s when, I hated my father.”

“I hate him more when he bought his second wife a big bungalow and a big ‘mata belalang’ Mercedes!”

“His second wife is half his age. Same as my sister’s age, 26 years. My father is 50. She is an ex-stewardess.”

“But you are not doing good to yourself. You don’t study.”

“What is going to happen to you in the future if you keep on doing this?”

“Teacher, my father is very rich. When he die, I will be getting some of those wealth.”

“Furthermore, I am very sure my older brother will take care of me.”

“Teacher, the truth is, I still study! I didn’t neglect my study.”

“I just want to avenge against my father for what he did to my mother. Let him suffer.”

He is now 20 years old in the USA furthering his studies.

His mother and father got a divorce. His mother got half of their common property and money.

CIKGUTANYA: What a son would do for his mother is beyond me.

Son's Love - Towards his Mother

2010-06-01T08:24:00.000-07:00

“I did that because my father makes my mother cry.”

That was what a 14 year old student told me when asked about his behavior in school.

He was a student in this school from Form 1. He is now in Form 2. He was then a very obedient and intelligent boy. Respect the teachers. vHe never go against the school rules. Always abide by the rules. Was a model student in the school.

Suddenly, he changed. He played truant, he verbally abused his friends and teachers. Never did his homework on time, making noise in class, got into fights with his friends.

When I asked him why he changed his behaviour, he only said that its all because my father made my mother cry.

“What did your father do that make your mother cry?”

“Teacher, before, we were a very happy family. My father is a very successful man. He got lots of money.”

“We always go overseas for our family holidays.”

“I’ve been to Los Angeles Disneyland, we had a good time there. I‘ve been to the Universal Studios, Grand Canyon, San Diego , Paris, London, Hong Kong etc.”

“We also went to Australia three times a year to visit my brother in Perth, my sisters in Sydney and my cousin in Adelaide.”

“My mother was a very happy woman. With lots of money she can shopped to her hearts content. When my mother is happy, we, the children will be happy too.”

“Although I can have what I want, I still think of the others especially the under privileged. I thank God for what He had blessed us with.”

“I respected my father. My bothers and sisters also respected him. We think highly of him. A successful man in business.”

“But one day, he left his thumb drive on the dinner table, we thought it belonged to our cousin who spend the night at our house. We wanted to play a prank on him with his thumb drive without realizing it was my father’s.”

CIKGUTANYA: I will continue tomorrow. My son and niece wanted to go shopping at the retail store. Update later...

Down Syndrome 2

2010-05-30T00:18:00.000-07:00

The school organized an open day. Parents came to discuss their children development in the school.

Her first daughter did well in her studies.

“How is your 10 year old girl?”

“She’s ok. I still send her to the special education school.”

“She now knows how to use the washing machine, she can cook the rice using the rice cooker and a lot more.”

“I am happy for her, but the most important thing is, I know that, if I am not around, she will be taken care off.”

“How?”

“One day, when I was on my way to the market with my 28 year old son, at the market we a saw a kitten, so thin and frail. So wobbly and hungry.”

“After buying our weekly ration of fish and vegetables, my son picked up the kitten, put the kitten in a box he got from the vegetable seller and he took the kitten home and nursed him to health.”

“The cat is very healthy now. He named him ‘Lucky’.”

“So my dear teacher, if he is caring enough to take care of the cat and nursed the cat to health, I think he won’t let his sister to face life alone after I am gone.”

I told her, “Yes, I am very sure he will take care of her.”

CIKGUTANYA: I believe so.

Down Syndrome

2010-05-27T05:36:00.000-07:00

Her unborn baby was diagnosed to be a down syndrome baby.

“We have run tests and we advised you to abort the baby.”

“Are you sure doctor?”

“Yes”

“We’ll be getting a second opinion, doctor.”

“Yes, please do.”

They did.

The test still showed that the child will be a down syndrome child.

They refused to abort the baby. The child was then born, a girl, and she is a down-syndrome child.

The mother spoke to me when she came to school to discuss about the performance of her daughter in school.

“I am not really worried about my first daughter because she is normal. I am worried about my 10 year old daughter who is a down syndrome baby.”

I told her “But you are rich, you can afford the get the best treatment.”

“Down syndrome is not curable. She will be one until the day she die.”

“But she can be trained to be self reliance.”

“I know that, though trained, she can’t analyse human behavior towards her. She will not know their ulterior motives.”

“I also don’t have any expertise or experience to advise you on this subject,” I said.

“Teacher, I know but thank you for listening.”

CIKGUTANYA: It’s difficult to weigh the wonders of science and the fate of God. I will continue tomorrow.

Transvestite 4

2010-05-26T07:20:00.000-07:00

“It took me six months to physically be a man again. Though I didn’t go and search for male client, I still didn’t find women attractive. I still like men. I like looking at handsome, well built man. But that was all.”

“At 48, I got married. It was because my sisters and brothers that keep on pressuring me.”

“They match make me with her. I didn’t know her but just to make my sisters and brothers happy I abide to their wishes.”

“It was a grand wedding, my brothers and my sisters paid for it.”

“My wife was a very sweet woman.”

“I have a child with her, but I just can’t love my wife. We slept together only for about a week and then I moved to the other room but she got pregnant.”

“After she delivered our baby, I divorced her. I know I am being unfair to her but sigh….!“

“I love my child very much but I just can’t love the mother.”

“When I looked at men, I find myself drawn to them. But that’s about all. I will never go back to the lifestyle of a drag/transvestites again.”

My friend is now 53 year old. Still working and supports his child. Never re-married.

His ex-wife, is now happily married to a nice man.

CIKGUTANYA: I AM FOR SEX EDUCATION IN SCHOOL. WHAT SAY YOU?

Transvestite 3

2010-05-25T16:38:00.000-07:00

I asked him again, “What changed you after 10 years of being a transvestite?“

“At 26, I decided I wanted to changed my way. That night it was raining heavily, he was standing in front of the famous cinema just beside a chicken rice shop (very famous in the capital city).”

“I wanted to tackle him, I made a passed at him. He smile and I said to myself … wow! What a catch! But instead of having a hell of a happy time, he took me to a coffee shop and make me think hard about my life.”

“I was given issues about transvestites and he asked me to think about it. He was such a very good man. He never judged me for what I am. He just made me think about my life.”

“Usually people will look at us as if we are garbage and a menace to society without really knowing why we are like that.”

“That’s why if you have children please take care of them, don’t entrust your small children to other people, even you think they are nice!”

“OK, back to my story, I keep on seeing this good man (nothing sexual, just talking, and changing of ideas). He is very matured.”

“After a year, I started thinking hard about my life and I started to change my way.”

“I stopped taking the hormone pills, and my bosom shrinked. Hair started to grow again and my skin turned slightly roughed.”

CIKGUTANYA: Good Samaritan is difficult to find. Continue tomorrow.

Transvestite 2

2010-05-24T06:56:00.000-07:00

“After 3 months of renting the house he started kissing me here and there.”

“He did it everyday and I don’t mind. I like what he was doing to me. My father and mother hardly showed me physical love. They never kissed me or hugged me. To me what is so wrong about him kissing me. I was only six.“

“When I was 12 years old, in Standard Six, he sodomized me for the first time and I still think that was the way he showed his love.”

“Nobody told me that it was wrong! My parents never knew about it even until the day they died. I kept it a secret all these years.”

“When I was sixteen, it become a way of life to me. The grocery shop owner who was 36 went back to his native country and I started to fall in love with men.”

“I started taking hormone. My skin became softer. I have a bust. My body hair started to fall. I started wearing women dresses . I wore a 4” heel shoes.“

“I worked in a government office. In the morning, I’ll be wearing man’s clothes but at night I will be the lady of the night. Wearing beautiful skirt and gowns and wigs.“

“I will go to a very famous street in the capital city for transvestites to get clients.“

“Sometimes the police will chased us ‘drags’ and we will be running in our 4” heels. Even women can’t do that, but it didn’t deter us from doing what we are doing. We need to get the money.”

“How much money?” I asked.

“I can earned RM 2,000 a month. That is a lot then. Its not the money that matters but the attention given by the men that make me want to do it.”

CIKGUTANYA: Will continue tomorrow. Need to go, got to watch “Upin dan Ipin”.

The Transvestite

2010-05-23T07:34:00.000-07:00

I have a friend. A transvestite. He is a nice and jovial person

One day, out of curiosity, I asked him personally, “What make you turn into a transvestite?”

“It happened when I was 6 years old. My parents opened up a stall selling food for breakfast and lunch. They don’t have a maid to help care for me.”

“Everything was done by my father and mother. From marketing, cooking and selling. They will be at the stall from six in the morning till afternoon about two pm.”

“I was born when my parent were 48 years old. Accident child. All my sisters and brothers were married and have their own home, so I am the only child at home.”

“At the back of our house, my father built an extension to the house. Two rooms and a bathroom. He rented it to a man running a grocery shop at the village. He was then 35.“

“My parents trusted him so much. Every morning they will leave me with the man and he will take me to his grocery shop at 8.30 am.”

“In the shop I will be at the back of the shop either playing alone or doing my homework. At noon, I walked to school and be there till six pm. I will go home after six pm and my mother and father will be home by then.”

“My sexual awakening was by this man. My father and mother trusted him and never suspected anything, and to me, what he did was just a way of showing that he cares for me”

CIKGUTANYA: Please think of what will happen next. Bubye!

My Little Angel - Sufi Farisa

2010-05-21T18:27:00.000-07:00

This entry is my sad experience on the loss of my grand daughter.. Bear with me for the long story. It is dedicated to all of you.

This is my personal story ABOUT MY LITTLE ANGEL SUFI FARISA. Personal in nature, sad in mode. Please bear with me.

On the 16th of Mei 2010 at 6.50 am, my grand daughter, Sufi Farisa Mohamad Firdaus, passed away. She was just 4.2 years old. It broke my heart to million pieces. For once in my entire life I just don’t have any control over what happened to my life. The world was crumbling! I thought it has ended!

My granddaughter was such a beautiful, cute little girl. She has this lively and bubbly character. She made friends with the neighbours’ children very easily.
What I remember most about her was her prayer,“Merciful Allah, please save us from the Satan” whenever I am with her, driving her around Putrajaya.
Then she will say,“ Ok you can drive now mamatok (grandma)!”

Dear Sufi Farisa,

I know you are in heaven. Your place is guaranteed there. But Farisa, grandma is still trying to mend my broken heart and still trying to lessen the burden of pain in my chest for losing you.

Your Uncle Wan and Uncle Yen cried for you my dear. They love you very much. Uncle Fiq is still in Australia and he also cried for losing you too.

Uncle Wan, UncleYen and mamatok still talked about you. We still visualize you around the house when you came visiting us in Precint 10 Putrajaya every night or fortnightly with your mother and father or when we visited you in Precint 11 Putrajaya.

My darling Sufi Farisa ,

You have such wits about you that amazed me. I remember one day, I was searching for something but I could not find it and you said to me,

“Mamatok (grandma), you look for it using you nose, that is why you couldn’t find it, let me help you find it with my eyes.”

You were only three then.

Farisa Darling,

Uncle Wan can only speak at five, but you can speak since you were two. There’s nothing that can stop you from talking. Once, I asked you to stop talking and immediately you ask me “Why!”

I told you that I wanted to watch the news on tv.

“Why”

I explained, “Mamatok (grandma) wanted to know what happened in the world and in the nation.”

“Why” again.
“WHY” again.
“WHY” again.
“WHY”

The “WHY” will always be on your lips.

Uncle Wan and Uncle Yen is pining for you. Both of them are my pillars of strength now. When I cried, they will console me. It is tough I know. I also knew they are suffering too just like me.

Farisa dear,

When I went to the hospital that eventful morning, the very moment they opened the door of the mortuary, I saw you lying there, my feet just gave way! All of a sudden it went like jelly. I just can’t stand!

What else to walk!

But uncle Wan and Uncle Yen help me. They put me on the wheelchair and pushed me towards you. When I saw your lifeless body and your sweet face there, my head spin and everything went black!

My darling angel Farisa,

I cannot imagine what your mother and your father felt, it must be as painful if not much more than what I felt that day.

I always imagine Sufi Farisa now, wearing a white flowery gown in heaven, in a very beautiful and colorful garden, butterflies following her around, with her friends, playing and she will be talking and talking. Small angel in Heaven.

“Dear Merciful Allah, I know that my grand daughter is happy there but, Ya, Allah please help me and my family and show me and my family the way to go through this greatest test you have put on us.”

I know that “Ajal dan maut di tangan Tuhan” (Death is in God’s hand). I know that if our time to go is up we have to go, no matter what. Not a moment earlier or not a moment late but the sadness tha comes with it is too unbearable.

“Please Ya Allah, give me the strength to accept this fate (redha).”

I still remember when Sufi Farisa wanted to sleep, I always sing this song for her with a fewer changes of lyrics:

Tidurlah wahai Sufi Farisa , tidurlah
(Go to sleep my dear Sufi Farisa , go to sleep)

Pejam mata, hai tidur nyawa,
(Close your eyes, sleep my dear life).

Ku dendangkan, ku nyanyikan,
(I will sing for you, I will serenade you).

Duhai Farisa jelita
(My beautiful Farisa).

Jika kau tidur lena mimpikan bahagia
(If you sleep, dream of all happiness).

Di taman syurgaloka kau dan aku bersua.
(We will meet again in beautiful heaven).

She will hold on to her bantal busuk (special pillow ) and she will sing this song together with me. She will always sing in the higher note when it comes to her name and then she will slowly sleep.

Farisa my darling , sleep well my darling.

There are lots of memories of her and me. I will hold on to it for dear life.
She likes to sing whenever we are in a car or in the house. She particular liked three songs. All these songs was taught by me. These songs were:

Song no 1
Title “Cari jodoh” (Looking for a bride/groom) by Wali Band.

Song no 2
Title “Ketulusan Hati” (Pure Heart) by Anuar Zain.

Some of the lyrics in this song are:
Cintaku tak berdusta (My love never lie)
Tak mengenal ingkar (Will never go against my promises)
Tak kenal nestapa (My love do not know the word of sorrow)
Apa yang ku rasakan ini (Whatever feeling I had)
Hanyalah untuk dirimu (It is just for you)
Kau dengarlah kasih ku (Please listen to me my love)

And so on
Song No 3
Title "Izinkan ku pergi"( Please let me go ) by Khair

The last verse is
Maafkan aku duhai kasih (I am so sorry my dear)
Izinkan ku pergi (Please let me go)

In her childlike voice and in her childlike way of saying the word – she was just too cute.

I missed her a lot already.

I once asked her what she wants to be when she grow up ,

“Mamatok, ayah kerja “Pontokol JPM ” (Protokol Jabatan Perdana Menteri) , mama kerja MAMPU JPM, Farisa nak jadi concalten (consultant) – tapi Fisa tak mahu pergi sekolah.”

I told her to be a consultant , she must go to school. To be a consultant she must be clever and intelligent.

She told me then , “Ayah nak pergi USA belajar, Farisa sekolah di USA la mamatok” (Mamatok, my father is going to USA to further his studies, OK, I will do my schooling in the USA too.)

She really look forward to go to the USA, she told her nanny, “Mak cik Yam, bila nak pergi USA nanti Mak Cik Yam ikutlah sebab Mak Cik Yam kena pegang tangan Farisa, mama pegang Sufi Fariha, ayah pegang Faris.”
(Mak cik Yam, when we are go to the USA, you have to follow us, you have to hold my hand, mama will hold Sufi Fariha and papa will hold Faris.) – How do you feel here?

Ya Allah, Sufi Farisa, my dear grand daughter I always love you.

My husband, thank for being here with me. Let us remember her in our heart.

My darling daughter, Suliana, God love your daughter Sufi Farisa more than us and she’s waiting for you in Heaven (Firdausi - just like the name of your husband). She is now in the best place that you can be.

My dear son-in-law Firdaus, please take very good care of my daughter. And always remember, your daughter Sufi Farisa is waiting for you and your wife in Heaven Firdausi (just like your name).

My dear son, Khairil Syafiq, who is now in Australia and could not be here with us, “It’s ok sayang (darling), I am worried about you alone there, but sayang, remember the good times you had with her. I know you had taken over 1,000 photos of her. Sayang, anak mama (my darling son) I pray for your well being. I love you.”
My dear sons, Khairil Safwan and Khairil Syahrin, thank you for being the pillar of my strength during this turbulent time and all the time. I love you both with all my heart.

To my daughter-in-law, Hidayah, thank you very much. I know my Sufi Farisa bullied you since you came into our family. She just won’t leave you alone if she knew you were in the house.

“Auntie Dayah, Auntie Dayah, sit with me, don’t go anywhere.”

Nabila, thank you for being there with me. I love you very much and I hope one day you will be part of my family. Remember how Sufi Farisa called you “Auntie Bella, Auntie Bella.”

Semah, my dear cousin, she was heavier than you are. But you always take the effort to carry her around because she asked you to pick her up. I can see you were panting. I remember she would not let go of you. You cannot move because she wanted you to be with her.

My brother Din, thank you my dear brother. Words cannot describe my gratitude to you.

Nadia, thank you for the video of Sufi Farisa singing on her few last days in life.
To Cu Nawi, thank you for being there to support me and our family.

To all my family members, my brothers and sisters, my aunties and uncles, my cousins, my nieces and nephews, thank you very much.

To all my husband’s family, thank you.

To my dearest best friend Puan Halimah Shamsuddin (SMK St Gabriel), 33 years of friendship gave me much advise, thank you very much. Every morning you will be there for me, listening to me pouring my heart out. Your advise keep me going in facing this test. Thank you my dear friend.

To Margaret Mary Lawrence, you are such a friend. I will always remember you. You came to the house with Julie Tan Abdullah and Datin Haminah Mahmud, the three of you cried with me, consoling me in between. You always send me sms to keep on advising me. We have been friends for 20 years now.

And ,yes dear, I have kissed the toes of Faris (Sufi Farisa’s three year old brother) and Sufi Fariha (Sufi Farisa’s three month old sister) as you have asked me to do through your sms.

You wrote there, “I am a mad woman!”

You are not mad my dear friend, you just love children and cannot bear to see me sad. Thank you dear.

Datin Haminah, thanks for your advises. I will call you again and again. Bear this with me. For how long? Only God knows!

Datin Zawirah, Puan Radiah Nordin, Datin Hasman Abu, Puan Hasnah – thank you so much and you will forever be dearest friends of mine. I will remember your empathy.

All my friends from SMK Bandaraya, thank you for being with me. I cannot name all of you but Puan Aizan, Puan Haslina, Puan Masitah, Cik Lili – you are all truly my friends.

My friends from SMK Maxwell, Puan Noraini and Ustazah Fazilah, Puan Habibah, En. Silvaratnam, Datin Nab, Puan Sariah; thank you.

My friends from Pejabat Pelajaran Daerah Bangsar – Pudu, Puan Rosnani, Puan Husna, Encik Hamdan, Encik Mustafa, Puan Noraini and all there, thank you! Thanks for your presence and for all the sms.

My friends from Kementerian Pelajaran Malaysia, Cik Shaliza, Encik Wan Salahuddin, Encik Sohimi, my words of gratitude, thank you.

My friends from Jabatan Pelajaran WP Kuala Lumpur, Tuan Syed, Pak Ya , All Jo, my former student Mohd Nazeri Desa, Puan Halimah, Cik Ayu, Encik Yusof, Cik Faridah Jebah, Puan Norizan, Encik Mohd Noh, Puan Zie, Encik Sazali, Encik Aziz, Encik Abdullah, Cik Nik Ramas, Puan Rosni, Puan Norlilah, Puan Hajah Nik Samihah, Encik Noh, Encik Musa, En Suraimi, Puan Zah , Encik Jamal dan isteri, Puan Zainon, Encik Azizi, Encik Zaini, Puan Noraini and many others, just to name a few – thank you very much for your presence and the sms and phone calls.

Zaidi, Ita and their children, thank you. Your kid missed his tuition that day.
“Ya Allah, restuilah rakan baik ku ini.”(Merciful God please give your blessings to this good friend of mine.)

Dear friends do not be offended if I did not mention your name here, please forgive me, but thank you so much for all the condolences and support to us.

Never have I imagined, I have many good friends! Thank you dearest friends.

Sufi Farisa, I will always remember you. And till I join you in the hereafter, always remember that MAMATOK LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

French Bread II

2010-05-21T03:52:00.000-07:00

“I looked at the picture of Eiffel Tower in the magazines. It was not beautiful at all. Our Parliament building (the highest building in Malaysia at that time) is much more captivating sir. That’s my feeling.” Ali told the teacher.

“You are stupid!”.

“The European city is so beautiful. Everything is beautiful,” retorted the teacher.

“What about the girls sir?”

“They are beautiful too. They are all very stylish.”

“But sir, they don’t wash their private part and buttocks when they answer the call of nature. They just wiped with paper!”

The whole class laughed.

I could see that our geography teacher tried very hard to hold his anger. The rest of us was so scared that our friend Ali would be slapped by our teacher.

“Your know what, back to the story of French bread. You can dip it in hot tea and eat it, or just eat it with butter or jam.”

He continued, “When I was in Paris recently, I always carry this bread with me as a weapon. If anybody has bad intention towards me, I will knocked his head with it, like this.!

He then knocked Ali’s head with the bread.

CIKGUTANYA: Nobody complained then. Today, teachers cannot even stare at the student let alone physical contact.

The French Bread

2010-05-20T16:02:00.000-07:00

When I was in Form Five, my geography teacher was a male.

He was sent to Paris for a course by the government. Those days, for a teacher to go for a course in the UK or Europe meant that they were good teachers.

One day he came to our class to teach geography. The lesson was about Europe. He brought with him a long and hard kind of bread.

“This is what you call a French bread.”

The only bread we know at that time was just “roti benggali”

“It is long , hard and good to eat. It is easily available in Paris”

“Do you know where Paris is?”

My friend, Ali answered, “Yes Sir! It is in France.”

“Good, you know your geography well!”

Ali was a very mischievous boy . He was never scared of the teachers or the Principal himself.

“Have you ever been there?”

“No, Sir!”

The teacher continued, “I’ve been there, it was a long flight. Hours and hours of flying. I went there for a course. Do your know anything about Paris?”

Again Ali answered,“Eiffel Tower, Sir.”

“What is Eiffel Tower?”

“A tower made of steel. Screwed together . Rusted steel and iron sir! I don’t know why people think so highly of that ugly tower.”

“Have you been to Paris?”

“No!”

“So how do you know it is ugly?”

CIKGUTANYA: The teacher’s face turned red. We were all very scared. Continue tomorrow.

Beauty Queen Of the School

2010-05-20T03:55:00.000-07:00

She was a beauty queen representing one of the states in Malaysia for the Miss Malaysia Contest.

She was courted by a professional, a teacher. He was also a teacher for Physical Education at my school.

She taught Form 3, and he taught the Form 4 and 5. They were in love. He drove a sports car. A rare sight in town.

The students of the school looked up at the couple.

He was tall while she was pretty. They were wonderful love-birds. Eventually they got married.

He drove to school with her everyday. Once he reached the school he will open the door for her to get down from the car.

“Thanks, honey.”

“You are welcome darling.”

She will then kissed him on the cheek in front of the students.

They showed their share of affection between a husband and a wife.

Comments will then be heard.

The boys commented, “I have never seen my father and mother kissed each other.”

“What a couple! I want my wife to be just like her.”

The girls commented, “Hey, she got no shame! She should do it behind close doors.”

And so on and on.

CIKGUTANYA : Why not? Let’s be romantic.

Holiday In Langkawi

2010-05-19T08:47:00.000-07:00

I brought my sons and daughter to Pulau Langkawi (Langkawi Island) for a family holiday when they were small.

We then went island hopping from one island to another.

There were two islands in Langkawi called “The Big Fart Island” (Pulau Kentut Besar)
and “The Small Fart Island” (Pulau Kentut Kecil).

My son then asked me, “Mama why are the name of these two islands so weird?”

I then throw back the question to him,

“Why do you think so, my dear, the name of these two island is such?”

“Mama, I think, once there were two divers searching for oysters.”

“But before they dived, they ate a lot of beans for breakfast.”

“They stayed so long underwater searching for the oysters. Full of beans, and so their stomach bloated. So they begin to fart.”

“The first diver farted in a big way. ‘POOOOOT’. The bubble from the fart formed the big island.”

“The other diver farted in a small way. ‘Peeeeeet’. The bubble from the fart formed the smaller island.”

“That is how these islands got their names!”

I laughed and laughed at his wits. He was only twelve then.

CIKGUTANYA: My children are the sunshine of my life.

POTONG KEPALA

2010-05-18T07:11:00.000-07:00

“Jangan keluar rumah, jangan keluar main-main – ada orang potong kepala”
(Don’t go our of the house, don’t go out and play. There’s someone head hunting to cut off your head.”)

“Why?” I ask my grandmother.

“Because one company is building the Penang Bridge. So they need a lot of childrens’ head ”

“For what?” I asked again.

“The head is used to make sure the bridge won’t collapsed. The head will be crushed to fill in the piling of the steel base of the bridge.”

My brother and I then stayed home for the rest of the day.

When we have to go to school, we felt quite safe as it was early in the morning. But immediately after school we would run home very quickly to escape from the head hunter.

The explanation that I can give now was that in the yesteryears, there was not much cattle feed in the market and the grass cutting machine was not available to cut the grasses. The grass had to be cut manually by using the sickle “sabit”.

The grass cutter normally would be cowherd owners and they cut the grass for the herd of cattle they own. But every time the children see them they will run and scream “potong kepala” (Head-hunters).

That was one of the ways my grandparents and many other parents in our village used to controlled children from wandering around in the village. No lepak activities.

CIKGUTANYA: If I used the same tactic on my children, my engineer son will give me a long lecture on how a bridge is built.

Rubber Tree

2010-05-17T18:36:00.000-07:00

When I was in standard six, my friends and I like to go to the rubber estate to search for rubber seeds. Not to plant it but to used it for the traditional game of “congkak”.

To play the game we need 98 rubber seeds in total.

We were so engrossed picking-up the seeds without realizing the so called mad man of the village was approaching us. He became mad because he was such a mama boy that when his mother passed away he just lost his mind.

We ran away when we realized that he was near. We also screamed and ran as fast as we could as though our life was in danger.

What I remember was that the four of us peed in our pants while running because we were so scared,.

We met at my grandmother’s well and took a bath fully clothed.

My grandmother was confused because I came back to the house all wet when there was no rain. I had to explain to her what had happened.

She just said this to me, “The rubber tree will grow healthy because of the fertilizer in your pee.”

Then she just walked off and laughed.

CIKGUTANYA: He he he the rubber tree is now gone because the North-South Highway was built on the rubber tree estate. Grandma, you were such a sport. May God bless you.

Policeman!

2010-05-16T06:41:00.000-07:00

I like to ask my students what they would like to be once they leave school.

“I want to be a teacher so that I could teach in the rural area.”

“I want to be a doctor because it is my parents wish.”

“I want to be a lawyer because my father and mother are also lawyers.”

“I don’t have any ambition yet, I’m still thinking.”

“I want to be a singer. I have the voice and talent. I had won a few singing competition.”

“I want to be a businessman. I’m going to sell fruits at the wholesale market.”

When his turned was up this boy said,
“I want to be a policeman”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because if I got shot in my line of duty, my parents will be getting RM 25,000/= as compensation for my death”

CIKGUTANYA: Gulp! Dear merciful God!

Cooking Class

2010-05-15T07:31:00.000-07:00

When I was in this all girls school from Form One to Form Three, we must take up cooking classes as a skill to be learned by girls.

I was from a small village and only know how to cook the traditional food or ‘kueh’,
Laksa, mee rebus, mee goreng (noodles), banana fritters and curry puff (traditional cakes).

Those days ,the menu that was being taught in school was always European menu. Sandwiches, carrot cakes, butter cake, spaghetti and all.

One day the teacher that taught us cooking told us that for the next day’s lesson , she wanted us to do “The Egg breadcrumbs fritters”.

My friend and I were all from the village. We were just wondering what is breadcrumbs.

“Breadcrumbs? Hey what is it? Bread, I know, but breadcrumbs.”

It’s very alien to us students from the village.

The next day, half of the class got chased out of the class by our cooking teacher for not bringing the bread crumbs to class. We have to stand on the corridor of the cooking class throughout the lesson.

We just stand outside.

The student nowadays are very lucky indeed, the syllabus of cooking class is more towards our own multiracial food and the ingredients can be bought easily at any supermarket in the city or just a small shop in the village.

CIKGUTANYA: I still don’t know how to use breadcrumbs in any way of preparing my kind of food for my family.

Condominium Story

2010-05-14T07:51:00.000-07:00

This boy was in form two.

A good and obedient boy he is. No discipline problems in school. The only son out of three children. He was the youngest.

His older sister 18 years old was in form sixth and scored 9A’s in her SPM examination.

The second sister 16 years old was in form 4 and scored 8A’s in her PMR examination.

His mother wants him to follow the footstep of his sisters that is to excel in his studies.

The result of his secondary one examination was not up to her mother’s standard.

He only managed to get 18th placement in his class out of 40. His mother was not satisfied with his result.

She sent him to tuition, got a teacher to coach him individually. No games. He was not allowed to play any games. His times was spent on reading! Reading! Reading! Books! Books! Books! Exercise Book! Exercise Book! Exercise Book!

There was a 1st term and the 2nd term of schooling. He managed to get better results. When he showed his mother his result, his mother scolded him and started telling him about how much she sacrificed. Her time, her money and everything else for him to excel. The boy just kept quiet.

His mother asked him, “What are going to do after this?”

The boy then walked towards the balcony of their 16th floor condominium, while walking he said, “Mama, I love you very much, I hope I will never bother you again with my failure to get higher marks as my sisters did. Please forgive me!”

He just jumped off the balcony from the 16th floor.

Thud – he was gone – forever. Dead.

CIKGUTANYA : I cried when I heard about this incident. I don’t want to know about his mother.

Exam Results

2010-05-13T06:43:00.000-07:00

This student received his PMR result.

Language – A
English – C
History – B
Sciences – C
Mathematic - D
Geography - C
and a few subject more – all C

The school had to put him in the Arts stream class.

The next day, his father came to school and scolded me for putting his son in the arts stream class.

I explained that I didn’t put him in that class but HIS RESULT did. To be in the science class, he at least must achieved the minimum qualification, 4 A’s and 4 B’s.

The father was not satisfied with the explanation. He insisted that his son to be put in the science class.

“I want him to be a doctor and to be a doctor he must be in the science class.”

“But, sir, with his results (Science - C and Mathematics - D) he can’t cope with the curriculum of the Form Four and Form Five science class later.”

“He’ll be left behind because the student of the science classes achieved better results in their basic science and mathematics.”

His father comment was, “Put him in the science class or I will complain to the minister.”

The school then agreed to his demand

Two years passed by. When the SPM result was announced I personally looked at the boy’s result.

True enough, the boy’s result was very bad. He failed all his sciences subjects (Biology, Physics and Chemistry) and all the Mathematics papers (Additional Math and Mathematics).

His father came with him to the school to get his result. I just ignored the father. I am only human.

CIKGUTANYA : I told you so….

Married!

2010-05-12T14:45:00.000-07:00

This student always sleep in class. He was in form five.

He will be sleeping from early morning until the time for school is about to be over.

We always discussed about him in our staff meetings.

“Why did he always sleep in class?”

“Maybe he’s working till late night, helping his parents.”

“Maybe he studies till the wee hours of the morning.”

As new and young teachers, we were full of energy and we wanted to do our best to help the student.

Two of us went to his house to enquire and inform his parents about his behavior in school.

When we told the father about his sleeping pattern, his father had this to say,
“Teacher, six months ago he was caught with a girl in my house making out. That day we came home early from our food stall because the food was sold out.”

“We had to marry them off because she was then pregnant, and now they had a child that cried all night long.”

“Both are students, but I can’t help them by taking care of their baby because we have to go to the market, cook the food and sell it. They asked for it so they have to face the consequences of their deeds.”

After finishing school, I met them again at an outlet selling jeans. The boy was a cashier and the girl a salesgirl. I asked about their children. They have two kids now and both are still living with their food stall operator parents making ends meet.

CIKGUTANYA: Boys and girls, please be careful life is not that easy.

Continuation of Sleeping Boy

2010-05-11T06:57:00.000-07:00

The next day, the father and the mother came. The principal told the about the incident.

The parent was protective of their son and keep on blaming the school.

“You know, my son told me that the teachers in this school is of no standard. They never teach. They never give any homework to the student. They always came to class late. They never give extra classes. They are lazy!”

The Principal just smiled and told the parent, “Your are right. This school is not good. I am no good. The teachers are also no good. They are very lazy. They never give students homework. They never give extra classes.”

“So, I think it’s better for you to transfer your son to a better school. There he can learn better.”

He then asked me to get the boy to the office. I did. The boy followed me to the office.

The principal said, “You told your father and mother that this school is no good, the teachers are lazy ..blah …blah blah….. So , your parent has already agreed to transfer you to a better school.”

“Sir, I don’t want to be transfer to another school . I want to be here.”

“But you told your parent this school is not good, the teachers are lazy. So what’s the point of being here, if the school is no good. If I were you, I will go to a new school to study for my future.”

The student then panicked.

“Sir, I lied to my parents. The teacher here is good. I am the one who always sleep in class and rude to the teachers. Please sir, I want to stay and study here.”

Suddenly, the father gave him a big hard slap on the cheek in front of the Principal and I.

CIKGUTANYA: How the principal handled the situation amazed me . I learned a lot from him. Another form of reverse phsycology!

Sleeping Boy

2010-05-10T07:47:00.000-07:00

I was in the class. Teaching. History lesson. This boy was sleeping. I woke him up. He pushed my hand. I woke him up again. Again he pushed my hand. I tried again for the third time.

He stood up and screamed at me, “Teacher. You ci...i!” (its the f…k word in the Chinese dialect.)

I pulled his hand and brought him to the principal’s office.

“Sir, this boy screamed at me and cursed me with the ci….i word when I was teaching!”

“Haiya (Alas)! How could say ci...i to your teacher? You shouldn’t say ci...i to your teacher. Ci...i is a bad word to say out loud. I don’t like it if anybody say the word ci...i. If you’re angry you mustn’t say the word ci...i. I don’t understand why sometimes people used the word ci...i, as if it was their everyday use.”

“Boy, you must remember you have to learn to abstain yourself from saying the word ci...i. I never said ci...i even if I am very angry.”

“Do you think your father and mother like it if you say ci...i. I don’t think your parents will agree for you to used the word ci...i to your teacher. Do you like it if others used the word ci...i on you?”

“Let me remind you again don’t use ci...i especially when you speak to your teachers. It’s rude to say ci...i . OK boy?”

He looked at me and say,
“Teacher, I am sorry for the boy’s behavior towards you. Please call his father and mother, I want to see them tomorrow.”

CIKGUTANYA: The boy say ci...i – ONCE to me The principal in his lecture to the boy used the word 13 times. Hmmm wonder how!

My Grandmother's Sex Education 2

2010-05-09T07:39:00.000-07:00

The conductor cannot stand straight and lost control of his balance. His finger then touched my hands. I was scared, really scared!

I reached home crying all the way after the first bus ride to school.

My grandmother was frantic. I kept on crying.

“Why, why?” she asked me.

“Grandma, I’m pregnant!”

“Why and how?” She asked me.

“Today on the way back from school, on the bus, when the conductor wanted to give the ticket to me, the bus jerked and my finger touched his finger sob sob sob!”

And then I wailed again!

“I AM PREGNANT!”

“NO! NO! you‘re not pregnant because you touched his finger – ACCIDENTALY. BUT if you touch his finger INTENTIONALLY then only you’ll get pregnant. Don’t worry. You’re not pregnant!” My grandmother told me.

I was relieved and happy

I went hopscotch with my friends feeling relieved.

CIKGUTANYA:. I only knew about sex, when I was in Form Four during science’s lesson by my fierce teacher .