LOYALTY 2

Here is the list of men that had proposed to her family for her hand in marriage:

No 1: A policeman.

“He is seven years younger than I am.”

“I think that if I am 55 years old he will only be 49, people will think that he’s my younger brother.”

“I don’t want people to be laughing behind my back.”

She was 33 then and this policeman was 26. I told her that it is ok to marry a younger man because a lot of women did it.

“They can go and marry and be a cradle snatcher but not me. I just cannot do it.”

No 2: An Indian Muslim guy.

My maid is an avid fan of Hindi film.

Forth nightly she will be going to Jalan Masjid India in Kuala Lumpur and buy a lot of Hindi film’s compact disc videos. I bought her a 20 inch television set and a compact disc player for her. She watched it in her room when she had done the housework. When Shah Rukh Khan, Salman Khan and Amir Khan were here in Malaysia for a show, she paid RM 350.00 to go to the show on her own.

So when this man approached her family, she asked her mother, “Does he looked like Shah Rukh Khan?”

“No”

“Then I don’t want to marry him!”

CIKGUTANYA: My cats, “go ahead” and “go astern” want their dinner.

Continue tomorrow.

LOYALTY

My maid is a local girl.

She had been with me for the past 20 years.

My youngest son was only two years old when she started working and staying with me. She can’t read nor write. She had never been to school out of poverty and the attitude of her parents.

Her father thought that she would be better off at home helping her mother doing the household chores.

When I asked her father why he thought that she should stay at home and help her mother, his answer was,

“A woman no matter how intelligent she was, will end up in the kitchen.”

A very gender like comments. But I just keep quite.

None of her bothers and sisters completed school.

One day while having dinner with my best friend she asked me,

“Your maid had been with you for so long, what about the chance of her getting married?”

“Do you know that it is sinful to stop her from getting married?”

“She should be given a chance to have a life of her own. Your children are all grown up and you don’t need her anymore.”

My friend lectured me.

Then I told my friend, “The truth is, in the span of 20 years when she’s with me, eight different men had approached her family for her hand in marriage. She rejected all of them.”

“Why?”

“My dear friend, I asked my maid why she rejected all of the proposal and this are her answers.”

“Of the eight men that asked for my hand in marriage , but I rejected them all. I will tell you later”

Cikgutanya: Eight men asked her hand for marriage. For me, only one man did and he’s now my husband.

Continue tomorrow.

LIONS! Eating Grass!

My friend followed her husband who was posted to New York.

The brought their two little babies. Age eight months and two years.

They stayed there for five years.
When they came back the oldest was seven and the youngest was five years old. The children can speak the native’s tougue very well.

One day my friend and I brought our children to the zoo.

On the way to the zoo there were about 10 cows grazing the grass by the road side.

My friend’s oldest daughter screamed, “ Mama! Mama! Look at the lions, so big eating grass!”

I looked at my friend and she just shrugged her shoulder.

I told her “You are very bad!”

She said to me, “If you are good make sure my children loves animal and know all about the animal. I leave it to you, my dear friend.”

We arrived at the zoo, the children was very happy. My friend’s children only knew the name of a few animals like giraffe, elephant and kangaroo.

My jaw was so tired of answering their questions. They were so excited to know about all the animals.

They are now in their twenties and they watch National Geographic every day on television.

“Aunty, you make us interested in animals and the trip to the zoo before was an eye opener to us. Thanks aunty. We are now saving some of our pocket money to go to Sabah Orang Utan’s Sanctuary and The African Safari Park one day.”

Good. I have fulfilled my friend’s wish.

CIKTUTANYA; My children: No 1 only interested in sports program. No 2 – food channel. No 3 – music channel. Me – CSI freak.

Hurt 3

“It was not easy. I have to worked and at the same time study. The only person who understand of what I went through is you, teacher. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

“But, dear, he is still your father. Please go and visit him for the sake of respect.”

“Respect? Teacher, respect must be earned not commanded.”

“I am still hurt by his behavior.”

“How can I respect him? He never did anything for me.”

“What I achieved today is my own doing with the help of the school teachers, you and the government. He did nothing!”

“But, he is still your father. He did some mistake when he was young. He is old now. I am very sure he had regretted his actions before.’

“Any way, you have 5 other siblings. Your mother had two children with your stepfather. And your father got three more with your stepmother. You have five siblings in total. I know you are quite close with your sisters because you go to your mother’s place. But I don’t think you have seen your other siblings since you never go to your father’s house. You might not even know them now.”

“Thank you for your advice, but I am not going to see him still. Give me time but not now.”

He did his degree in Hotel Management and Catering. After graduation he worked in a hotel as a banquet manager. He took home quite a handsome pay. He bought himself a superbike. He joined this group of superbikers and they go round the country in a group ocassionally.

CIKGUTANYA : My dear, I understand! I understand!

Hurt 2

Working with this catering company earned him RM50 a day. He only worked on weekends and during the school holidays.

He managed to pass all his public examination (PMR, SPM and STPM) and then furthering his studies in one of the local university. In the local university, he supported himself. He even paid the fees of his studies by working part time.

He worked part time in a hotel as a waiter for special events and on weekends and term breaks. He works from 9am till 3pm. He was a good and trustworthy worker. The hotel sometimes asked him to do other jobs besides being a waiter with extra pay.

Every year he will come to my house usually on the New Year day.

He still stays with his blind grandmother. His grandfather had passed away.

His mother is still with her husband plus two more kids. This boy visited his mother once in a while because his stepfather just didn’t care enough about him.

What about his father?

He never visited his father.

“Why should I go and visit him. He was never there for me. I have to fend for myself since I am thirteen.”

CIKGUTANYA: What would you do, if you were him?

HURT

His father abandoned him and his mother when he was twelve. His mother was granted a divorce by the court six months later. Abandoned, no money given, they were left in the lurch.

From what he told me, his father married his new wife one week after leaving his mother.
They had to live with his grandparents (mother’s side). His grandmother was blind due to glaucoma and his grandfather was 76 years old and very sick. His grandparents received aid from the government of only RM75 and that means both of them got RM150 a month. His mother had to work as a cleaner in a private office in order to get them through.

Five months after being divorced, his mother got married to a widower with two small children. My student told me that he understood why his mother had to get married. To find a man who can take care of her. And he didn’t mind.

She moved in with her new husband and left him with her parents (his grandparents). He wanted that too, to be able to stay with his grandparents.

After school, this boy at the tender age of thirteen worked as a dish washer at a restaurant nearby and got paid RM10.00 a day.

But he was never late for school. He completed his homework. He gave no reasons for teachers to get angry at him.

Since I was the Senior Assistant (Student’s Affair) of the school, he always confided in me.

He received a government scholarship of RM 300.00 a year.

He worked from the age of 13 until 15 as a dishwasher, and then at the age of 16 until 18 he worked part time with a catering company.

CIKGUTANYA: My hamsters are fighting. Got to go and look into the matter. Continue tomorrow

CHOCOLATE AND BEARS

I sent my daughter to an all girls’ boarding school. Since she was the eldest daughter, we have high hopes on her. Every parent will definitely have.

When we sent her to the school, the whole family followed. We had to leave her with tears in our eyes as that was the first time she was left alone.

Two weeks later we were allowed to take her home.

She sounded happy. Excited, my husband and I asked her about her stay in the hostel.

She told me,“Mama, there is this senior in my school. She likes me very much. She always gave me chocolates, small bears and sometimes she kissed me. My friend told me that I am lucky because a senior care and like me.”

Dup! Dup! My heart missed a beat.

“Is she a Form Five student?”

“Yes”

“What about her hair?”

“Short”

“What about her chest?”

“Flat, very flat, as if she tied her chest with something very tight.”

That day I had to give my daughter a talk on lesbianism.

CIKGUTANYA: Children of today need to be taught sex education, the right way!

Perception

In 1995, I was a very active member of the Girl Guide association of the school that I was teaching.

During the school holidays, the association organized a trip for the members at the beach of Port Dickson. Three bus load of members went with it. The number was 120 school members and 20 teachers were involved.

We planned everything from games, quiz, show, talk etc. It was fun. The members liked it very much. We had fun , we had joy. Everyday there’ll be a lot of activities. We like the game of traditional bowling. We used the coconut as the ball and mineral water bottles as the pins. We had competition in the form of building sand castles. We built a pyramid, simulate the Great Wall of China and all the wonders of the world. It was beautiful and fun.

In the group we had a female teacher. She is beautiful, she got the looks of a film star. Very sweet. She was so poise. Everything was perfect with her.

The other teachers and I admire her beauty. These are some of the remarks heard in the conversation.

“If we, women or ladies like her look, what more for a man.”

“God really blessed her with look. We hope that her heart will be as beautiful as her looks.”

“If I had a son, I will marry her off with my son but I have 5 daughters isk isk isk.”

“Not only she’s beautiful but she is a good teacher and a very hardworking Girl Guide member.”

“The man who get to marry her will be very lucky.”

One day, after a great time at the beach, I went to the restroom of the hotel. She did the same. I got into one cubicle to do my business (nature’s call – the small one) and she got into the next cubicle.

Suddenly, “Pooot”.

Sound from her cubicle. My God, she farted just like any other person, but she is beautiful like Cinderella. The moment I left the restroom, my feelings toward her changed. She was just a human being with human short-comings.

CIKGUTANYA: Me and my perception.

Mother's Food

My neighbour liked to asked my children about the food that I prepare for them. My first son, aged 8, at that time, will answer all her question. Now he is 27 and married.

Breakfast:

“What do you have for breakfast today?”

“We have nasi lemak , delicious.”

“What kind of gravy your mother made for the nasi lemak, anchovies, prawn or chicken.?

“No gravy, we can’t stand chilly. Too hot.”

“So , how do you eat you nasi lemak?”

“With boil eggs, cucumber and peanut.”

“Is it all?”

“Yes, and it is very delicious.”

Lunch time:

“What do you have for lunch?”

“Rice”

“What are the dishes for the lunch?”

“Omelet, cucumber and chicken soup.”

“Is it delicious?”

“Yes, very delicious.”

Dinner time:

“What do you have for dinner”

“Rice, egg with soy sauce, cucumber and chicken soup.”

“Is it delicious”

“Yes , very nice!”

My children, a girl and three boys just love the food I prepared for them without any comment. They will eat whatever I cooked, and every time,

“Mama, delicious.”

I just make sure that there will be vegetables on the table. They just love vegetables.

Now they are all grown up, still love vegetables and whatever food I cook. It gave me great pleasure seeing them eat and enjoy the food.

I always pray to God, “Don’t let the death angel take my life away while I am enjoying myself seeing my children eat the food I cooked. Take my life after they have finished eating.”

I have trained my maid to cook food they way I cooked it. She can.

CIKGUTANYA : My dear children , you mean the world to me.

Puppy Love

He was in love with the girl . Both in Form Six. He has a motorcycle. They came to school together. After school he will send her back to her home. Both families know about their relationship. They will eat together in the canteen during recess.

For me and a few friends of mine we were lucky because they were not from the same class. It’s easier to teach.

Some teachers of the school advised them on how to behave in school.

“Please don’t show too much of your loving feeling.”

“This is a school not garden of love.”

“Are you sure that you will marry him?’’

“Please, behave yourselves, you are giving a very bad example to your junior.”

One teacher in particular gave them a stern warning.

“Do you know what you are doing is wrong religiously. Both of you are not husband and wife. How can you girl, ride on the motorcycle him. Boy , how can you let her do it?”

“Girl, he is a man, he likes what you are doing to him. But what about you? Are you sure he will be your husband? You know, girl and boy, by doing what you are doing now you will be ending up having sex. It is wrong to have sex if you are not married. Boy, you should know better. Didn’t your family teach you about religion? What if your future children do this. What will you say?”

The boy retorted angrily, “Please leave my parents out of this. They are nice people. They taught us everything. And teacher, regarding my future children, I will make sure I will put a box full of condoms at the door. They can pick it up on their way out. Are you happy now, teacher?”

He continued, “Teacher, please understand that we know about religion, the don’t and the
do’s, but teacher, please tell us how not to fall in love. We are just in love and nothing else. We don’t go overboard. Please don’t judge us.”

CIKGUTANYA: Finally both got married to a different person. It was only puppy love.

Snake with four feet

The students of the city, some of them, if I may say, do not even know how some creatures of the wild looked like.

When I was the principal in this school, a former student donated some money for the beautification of the school. After a brief meeting with the administrators, we chose to built a Japanese garden with a fish pond in it.
The area was about 25 feet by 25 feet, just like farmville. When it was ready it really look beautiful. We asked the former student to officiate the opening of the garden. Her name was crafted on the stone at the garden.

We bought about 40 Japanese carp (fish) of different colors, beautiful, about 6 inches long. Costing about RM 20/= each.

The next morning, two of the fishes were missing. I thought maybe one of the naughty boys took the fish home.

For one week, I kept missing one or two fishes a day. I was perplexed as to who the culprit was.

One day, a boy came to me and told me, “Teacher, a snake got into the fish pond and it is eating the fish!”

I went to the pond immediately and saw a monitor lizard (biawak) eating the fish.

“That is not a snake, that is a monitor lizard.”

“No, teacher, that is a snake with four feet!”

CIKGUTANYA: Student should watch National Geographic to know about animals.

JUDO

Mr Muthu was my judo teacher. I was in Form Four then.

I joined the judo club for RM10/= per term. On Thursday every week, there will be judo practice.

“Girl, come out here!” and ‘Bummmmm’ he threw me on the judo mattress. For 1½ hours it will be practice and practice. My body ache all over.

My grandmother told me, “Stop going to the Judo class. Look at your body, bruises here and there. One day you might break a bone or two. What is the use of learning how to fight.”

I refused. I like judo very much. It gave me a sense of power and strength.

“Ok, if that’s what you want!”

One day after judo practice, I felt a fever coming over me. My body ached.
I went straight home.

At home, there were piles of plates and glasses that need to be washed (a group of my grandfather’s friend came to the house – so hi-tea was served by my grandmother).

My grandmother said, “Please help me clean and wash the plates, cups and glasses.”

“Grandma, I am very tired. There was judo practice today and I am not feeling well.”

“If you don’t help me now, tomorrow I am going to see your Mr Muthu to get you out of the judo class.”

Suddenly, I felt all the pain gone. I just cleaned all the plates, cups and glasses. After everything was cleared, I took a shower and off to sleep at 8.30 pm.

CIKGUTANYA: One of the best slumber I have ever had. The magic of forced persuasion.

ALUMNI

About six of my former students of 1977 got together.

They wanted to have a get together dinner with former friends and teachers. Using the latest IT gadget, hand phones and the internet they managed to do it. I was there to celebrate with them.

As a teacher. There’s nothing like seeing your ex-student together again. We reminisced about the good old days, talked about school, former teachers, their antics at school when they were in school before. Long gossips on students, teachers and what not.

Then, I saw one particular boy, on the heavier side with half of his hair gone.

“Teacher, how are you? Long time no see.” The normal phrase for meeting.

“I am fine. Din (not his real name).”

“How long have it been, Din?”

“Teacher, about 30 years we have not met.”

“Din, what are you doing now? I mean career wise.”

“I am a Professor with a local university now.”

CIKGUTANYA: Professor? Congratulations. My students a Professor, Dato’, Businessman, Lt Colonel. ME - Still a teacher until I die!

Unable to Sleep

When I was the Principal of this all girls school, my senior assistant organized a trip to Langkawi Island that would allow the student to travel by train.

None of the girls have had the experience of travelling on the train before. The trip was then their first time. They were very happy and excited indeed.

From KL Central, we boarded the train to Kuala Perlis. It was very noisy. All of them were very excited. 70 students and 14 teachers. Havoc was nearly created at the station. Everybody wants to be the first to board the train.

Two special coaches were allocated to us. It was fun. The girls brought so much food with them as though they were going to starve. They had a jolly good time eating along the way. Sandwiches and a lot more.

I bought two tickets for berth (sleeping bed) on another coach, for me and my son.
The train started to move at 8.30 pm.

I went straight to the berth. We had our dinner at Kuala Lumpur Central Station. I bought a packet of fried noodles and four bottles of mineral water. So feeling hungry is out of question.

I told my son to sleep or lie down on the berth as I need to go to the other coach to check on the students.

Arrogantly my son told me, “Mama I don’t think I can sleep tonight. The train moves and it shakes to the left and right. I don’t think I will be able to sleep in this kind of condition. I will be wide awake the whole night.”

I told him, “My dear, just try!”

That was at 9.00 pm.

“No! No! I won’t be able to sleep. But I will try!”

“Dear just try to sleep. I want to go and see my students, then I will come back to sleep. Ok?”

“Ok, mama. I will be waiting for you wide awake.”

I moved to the other coach to see my students and teachers.

At 9.45 pm after everything was settled. I went back to the sleeping berth.

My unable to sleep son was going “zzzzzzzzzz. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”

The train shakes to the left and right alright. But my son, keep on snoozing and snoring.

CIKGUTANYA: My son, you are the apple of my eyes.

Raye 5

“If I can’t marry him and taking care of him I have made a decision.”

“What is your decision?”

“I will just concentrate on my company and when I am old, I think I will find a group of woman who are not married, open up a home and called it ‘The Golden Girls’.

“What do you think?”

“Do what ever you think best for yourself.”

After three months in the hospital in Singapore, he decided to go back to Germany for further treatment. He went with his parents.

Until today he is still there. His health is deteriorating by the day.

She told me over the phone when she visited him in Germany, “He is just like a skeleton now, sob… sob… sob.”

“He can’t speak but his eyes told me that he really love and care for me. My heart is broken to million pieces.”

She is now in Malaysia, pining for him, always reminisced about the good old days. She cannot call him, because he can no longer speak.

Only his parents gave her the update of his condition once a week and it is not good at all.

“Maybe it is my fate that, I won’t be able to marry for the rest of my life.”

“I love him, but I can’t live without him. I can’t be there for him as a wife and he can’t be with me as my husband.”

“We are girlfriend and boyfriend, but truthfully, since our school days, he made me a very happy girlfriend. The money can’t give me the happiness that I seek.”

“I want him to get well, and marry me. I will be waiting for him.”

CIKGUTANYA : My dear friend , I am sad for you too, but I am helpless.

Raye 4

While he was in hospital, he called Raye often from the hospital in Germany. After four months he came back on a wheelchair. She was very sad. He continued his treatment in Singapore. But before he went to Singapore he did something, which to me was such a beautiful gesture. He did it because he loved her very much.

His father, his brother, him and Raye went to a lawyer’s firm. The lawyer was their mutual friend. Raye’s boyfriend drew up a will with his father and brother as witnesses.

In the will he stated that if he dies, his girlfriend, Raye, will be given RM One million.

She was shocked and refused to signed the paper of acceptance.

“I don’t want the money , I want you to get well and marry me. Our families had agreed to it. I want to live and be your wife. And I want you to be my husband. I have money , I don’t want this money. Keep it or give it to your family. I just want us to be together. Please , don’t do this as if you will die tomorrow. Please don’t leave me… we have been in love for so long and you know that money is not important to me. You are!”

But he insisted and the lawyer advised her to accept it.

She called me and told me about it.

My comment was , ”You are so lucky , not even a wife but he willed you RM one million.”

But in the will stated that if she marries someone else, the money must be donated to an orphanage (named by him).

“So are you going to get married?” I asked.

“No, I am 48 years old.”

“There will be only married man on the market. I don’t want to hurt anybody. ”

“I just want to marry my boyfriend and live happily ever after. But look him now, I just want to marry him now, but he refused.”

“I don’t mind taking care of him, be with him but he won’t listen to it. I am helpless.”

CIKGUTANYA: Continue tomorrow . My friend Raye is coming over for dinner . We are going to talk and talk throughout the night. She needed someone to talk to.

Raye 3

They both are members of a club, and everyday they went there to dine and dance. They are very romantic. But they cannot get married because both families are still against that. She played snooker. She was the champion of the club in the snooker competition. She had been to Hongkong, Bangkok and Manila for snooker competitions under the sponsorship of the club. He supported her on these activities.

Whenever she was sick, he will cook her some porridge and sent it to her office. If he is sick, she will be fretting over him.

When the word “marriage” arises, by friends or families, they just shrugged off their shoulders. He bought her a car, a nice Volvo, for her birthday. They showered each other with expensive gift every now and then.

I pitied them.

In 2006, both families finally agreed that they should get married. For the families felt that after 20 years, whilst they were against the marriage, these two lovebirds still get together and refused to marry anybody else.

Wedding plans were made.

But, before the wedding, her boyfriend had to go to Germany to purchase a very important equipment needed by his engineering company. He got to be in Germany for three weeks training and testing.

Two days before he came back, he met with an accident in Germany. He was incapacitated. He cannot walk. For four months he was on traction in the hospital.

After the trial for compensation, the German court granted him one million euro for losses of limbs, paid by the insurance company of the vehicles that hit him.

When he was young he also took up a lot of insurance in Malaysia worth about one million ringgit.
.
But now he cannot manage his company, so his father sold off his company for three million ringgit.

CIKGUTANYA: Money can’t buy you happiness if you are not healthy.

Raye 2

A good friend of theirs, agreed to handle their wedding.

A hotel was booked for their wedding reception.

Everything was beautiful, the flowers, the wedding dress and everything else.

Two days before the wedding, they have their pre-wedding rehearsal. His mother came, shouted at Raye and gave her humiliating remarks. Then she slapped Raye. The wedding was called off but they are still together.

“Why Raye, you should have just carried on with the wedding.”

“No, her words were too painful and hurtful to swallow.”

“Now, my boyfriend loves me so much, but I think, his mother won’t stop even if we were married. I am very sure she will do everything in her power to make her son hate me and divorce me. Let us be in love forever, but not get married.”

They are still together till today.

He will help her manage her company. Whenever she faces problems, especially on finance, he will help her pull through.

She will be with him, encouraging him to do well in developing his company.

After ten years his company really flourished. He got lot of tenders and jobs.

He bought his equipment from a company in Germany.

The family keeps on pressing them to find another person to marry but it fell onto deaf ears. They were always together, whenever time permitted them. He still stays with his parents and she stayed with her parents. They met frequently.

CIKGUTANYA: I will continue tomorrow.

Raye 1

Her nicknamed is Raye . A very dear friend of mine. I knew her seven years ago.

She fall in love with this boy, of a different race and religion, when they were together doing Form Sixth in school. After Form Sixth she furthered her studies in a teachers’ training college so that she could work as a teacher.

He left school and went on to do an engineering course in USA. They keep contacting each other through letters. There was no mobile phone then.

Once back home, he got into the engineering profession.

But after seven years he quit to open up his own engineering firm. He did well in the business.

She resigned as a teacher and opened up her own company, dealing in services and supplies to the government department.

They wanted to get married but,

“No, I can’t accept your choice. He is from a different race and religion. Why don’t you find someone from your own race and religion?” Her mother told her off.

“But, we were in love since school days!”

“I won’t accept it. And that’s final!” Her father told her.

On his side,

“Mummy, I want to marry Raye. I love her very much.”

“No, I can’t accept you choice. She is from a different race and religion. Why don’t you find someone from your own race and religion.” His mother also told him off.

“But, we were in love since school days.”

“I won’t accept it. And that’s final!” His father told him.

They were still together. They just cannot break off their relationship.

CIKGUTANYA : Hmmm Romeo and Juliet kind of love.

WHEELCHAIR

This boy was wheelchair bound.

He was down with muscular disorder. He was studying in Form Four when I first met him. He was an intelligent boy and hard working in the science stream.

What I like most about him was his optimistic approach towards life.

One day, his friends from his class keep on pushing his wheelchair on the pavement of the class back and forth – back and forth, passing from one student to another. One boy pushed the wheelchair to the front. The other boy will push it back. And they did it at high speed. The boy on the wheelchair just laughed and laughed.

I had to scream at the boys for doing that, but he stopped me and said,

“Teacher, I want to be treated as equals. Don’t worry teacher. I won’t fall.”

“Please teacher, I like to be teased, laughed at, being bullied because at least I know my friend treated me as a normal human being and not as an invalid. Please teacher.”

He managed to get good results in his public exam and was offered a place to further his studies at the local university.

He then graduated and got a job in an audit firm. But he passed away two years after graduation leaving all the memories of yesteryears.

CIKGUTANYA: Boy, your spirit will live on.